Like a Box of Chocolates

A few Sundays ago, I woke up with a tingling sensation in my left fingertips.

It was irritating, but unfortunately when you have MS, waking up with a new or odd sensation is a common occurrence. Life goes on…


The next day, the feeling had spread beyond my fingertips to my entire hand and each finger from trunk to nail.

Soon, my left hand, forearm, shoulder and leg all felt numb.

It was as if an alien life force from the planet MS had taken over the left side of my body.

You know that feeling you get when you wake up and your arm is asleep? That’s probably the best way to describe it. Except, much to my dismay, my hand, arm and leg never woke up!

Eventually, this alien force decided to concentrate all of its efforts to my left hand.

My hand still looks perfectly normal; however, it feels like a heavy weight is attached to it as I raise it or swing it by my side. When I open and close my palm, it feels like I’m grabbing a bean bag chair. I can almost hear the imaginary pebbles moving around as I make a fist.

The tingling and numbness remain as mere background music in my day-to-day life. My left hand mostly useless.

And that’s where I’m at today.

If you are fortunate enough to have two functional hands, imagine getting washed and dressed in the morning with only one. 
  • Showering, washing my hair, putting on deodorant, brushing teeth, shaving… no menial task is spared, and the experience has become my own little obstacle course.
  • Then there is getting dressed. Tying shoes and fastening buttons have proved difficult with very little dexterity in my left hand.
But leaving my bedroom, life awaits me…
  • Per tradition, I always bring my wife coffee to start her day.
  • My son still wants to play basketball, and my daughter still asks me to pick her up and throw her in the pool.
  • As for myself, writing stories is a major part of my life.
  • And it even extends to the minor things, like signing my name, opening doors or scratching an itch.
But the sun still rises and the world continues to spin, regardless of MS.

So, I do what seems like the only reasonable response: I fight on.
  • Getting undressed has proven difficult. My left hand has somehow been able to manage putting shorts on, but as for taking them off, I struggle, finding very little success. My work-in-process solution has been to slide them off, avoiding the buttons altogether.
  • Bringing my wife coffee is still possible, but with extra care taken as I walk upstairs.
  • I still play basketball with my son, I just do it mostly one-handed. And thankfully, my daughter is still small enough that I can throw and play with her in the pool, using my left hand sparingly.
  • And, I continue to write…
  • It’s been frustrating, but I’ve adapted to my new normal. I still use my right hand to type but with my left, only my third finger hunts and pecks away, metaphorically giving the middle finger to MS.
To borrow from Mr. Forrest Gump:

MS is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.  

Or, more directly: 
  • One moment you’re worried about face twitching, the next, you can’t even dress yourself.
  • One week you suffer from shooting pains, the next, you struggle to type a complete sentence.
  • One day you are unable to see clearly, the next, your wife has to help you cut your steak at a fancy restaurant because of a numb left hand (true story!).
With MS, you truly never know what you’re gonna get.
13 Appreciate this
| Reply
Michael

Michael Wentink, Blogger

In 2008, Michael Wentink was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. At 31, he was a new father, a recent MBA graduate and a Director at a Fortune 500 company. MS altered this path and after an early retirement, Michael is now navigating life on a road less traveled. A native of Northern Virginia, Michael currently resides in San Antonio, Texas with his wife and two young children. Read about his journey with multiple sclerosis at mjwentink.com and follow him on Twitter.

Leave a Comment

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with the MSconnection.org community. Please note comments are moderated.

    7 Comments

  • delightedhands  Jul 7, 2017 11:18 AM
    Hopefully this will pass as quickly as it showed up. Work on that hand and make it do as much as it is able even if it isn't like before. I know. I have this gift from MS, too.
  • Jennifer   Jul 8, 2017 6:45 PM
    Thank you for sharing your perseverance! I hope you will regain full function. I was in denial of my MS until I woke up with a similar experience but in my legs-- it was my "wake up" call that I really did have MS. These blogs have been helpful for me to move away from the "poor me" feelings. Take care!
  • Chad   Jul 9, 2017 5:54 AM
    You took the words right outa my mouth - carbone copy of my left side once in a while - thanks for sharing and WE will fight on!! 👍
  • Avatar
    VinGigi  Jul 9, 2017 8:57 AM
    Thank you all for the wonderful comments and support. I really do appreciate you checking out my story and the MS Society providing me the platform to share with others! :)
  • classic58woman  Jul 9, 2017 10:53 AM
    Michael,
    I am so sorry to hear about your MS relapse and how devastating that is! I can relate to everything you're writing about. It's insane! ❤️ So glad you shared your story with us and I'm glad that you will "fight on"!!

    I had something similar happen in early May. I was awake and felt this pain in my left forearm, then my middle, ring and pinkie went dead numb for about a half hour. To this day, they continue to be tingling and numbing out. Of course there's the in and out pain!!😖Two weeks after that incident it moved into my right hand, same fingers with a little numbness in the lips. At first I thought my hands were going to sleep (which has never happened) then it stayed. I didn't know what to think or do, I just sat in shock!!! Still am. It's lingered long enough so I guess I'll be heading to my Neurologist soon! Thanks to your article!! Hope all goes well with you, God Bless. #you'reafighter #imafighter 🥊Brenda
  • Avatar
    sue-peer  Jul 9, 2017 2:35 PM
    Well written! I agree with The box of chocolates and can definitely relate to your story!
    I got MS at 18 years old, I just turned 66!
    In conjunction with the box of chocolates ,my motto is to celebrate every day!
  • Rob   Jul 21, 2017 8:33 PM
    My wife has severe left side weakness. She likes to request that the chef cut her steaks at restaurants prior to serving. I don't mind to cut her food, but she said it gives her a sense of normalcy. Works out just fine!