...... and you have every right to feel that way and more.
When I was diagnosed on 6 April 2013, I had also been diagnosed with adult ADD 6 years prior and so I was/am already prescribed Dex for that and I can say without reservation that medication and only that one has afforded me every ounce of hope I hold onto. It allows me to still live!
After diagnosis, I didn't receive any medication at all until 24 January 2014, 10 months later. Not even a 3 day course of methylpred. This is because every doctor I saw in those 10 months from GPs to ophthalmologists and even my first neurologist failed me as a patient, horribly, in my opinion. My first neurologist I fired because he was promoting or should I say 'pushing' Gilenya and only Gilenya as a medication? I resisted because I felt as though I was being bullied into just doing whatever he was saying without question or understanding. I asked him what other options I had with regard to medications and he said if that's what I wanted that would be fine but he would just have to refer me on to a different neurologist to manage me from there. I stressed that I just wanted to understand all this new madness and make an informed decision. Unreasonable right?He said If I thought I knew better than him then fine it was my choice and he said if he was in my shoes Gilenya is the medication he would be on. I also suggested to himat that point that he was receiving some sort of financal or other benefit (career based reconition) for operating as he was and it was unconscionable. He said "that's the way the world works". Yes I would swear an affidavit as to those statements as direct quotes, amongst others. It was another 7 months before I got to see a second neurologist.
I must say however, my neu neurologist (funny) was very good on the one occasion I met him. There is not a negative word I have concerning him. He was thorough, allowed me time to speak and just try to be heard and understood properly for once. It was a real interaction and a positive one. The result was, being prescribed with Tecfidera which I have now been taking for nearly 3 months without a hitch really. Except the big hitch that you would only become aware of after conducting fairly extensive research, which is Dimethyl Fumarate can cause some potential health concerns of its own in rare cases, more serious than MS even and not rare enough for my liking. None of the standard propaganda you receive will tell you that. I only know that becuase I stumbled across a transcript record of a second review meeting of the FDA when it was considering the application for approval of the drug for MS.
My symptoms since onset have been many and life changing and my condition has deteriorated considerably over the last year. But I am still here and they'll all have to try better again this year!
My symptoms have been mainly, chronologically: Optic Neuritis (blind in the right eye for 6 weeks), numbness particularly in hands and legs, muscle cramps (horrible, basically daily, never goes away, sometimes I cant drive because of cramping in my back and neck), lots of strange pain that comes and goes and a burning sensation on the skin particularly all over my back and the back of my arms, instances of both bowel and bladder concerns, OVERHEATING!, cognitive disturbance at a serious level and terrible memory loss and irritability (I literally walk from one room to the other or go outside to do something or go to the shop for something and I cant remember for the life of me what I was even doing or why I am there?). There have been periods where I never thought I was getting out of bed again. I was a paralegal my whole career, my mind and my language both written and verbal were my weapons, my tools of my trade. Now it takes me an hour to write a paragraph and I stutter a little half the time. Generally people dont think about or realise but my work was a part of me. Its not what I was, but it was a considerable part of who I was because I did it every day, for way too many hours every day and I was as good as they get. That's over. I had a support system, they all ran away?
Please understand also that completely aside from MS, the last year of my life personally has been nothing but a consistant and painful series of unbelievable disappointments that having MS honestly faded into the background a lot. I am not exagerating or saying that as a bad joke even I actually wish I was.
But even in what i just said in the paragraph above may be the answer to your question. Life will go on no matter what and you will feel weird now starting to think so differently from only a very short time ago but everyone else will still be and think and go about there days just eaxctly as they had before. I hope very much you find your own way to cope by doing exatly that, just coping and then hopefully building to the stage of enjoying and loving life again with MS just in the background. It was essential for me to realise when I found myself at my weakest I had to be at my strongest and also to be pragmatic and clincal about most of it in terms of realising that my old life was no longer a proper fit for my new circumstaces and that Ihad to find equalibrium again between my circumstances and my path/desires/goals.
PLEASE do one thing for me, for all of us? As best you can (and never give up trying), just live your life exactly however it is you want to and try to "accept the things you can not change" and not let anxiety or fear overwhelm you but rather the opposite, take it as your official sign to start having as much fun as you possibly can and do as many things as you love and enjoy right now as much as you can. Always take care of your health first but then fun and then if there's still time 'work', maybe. In this approach lies the true answer to your question, serenity. No matter how it unfolds for you if you can find and maintain peace of mind and be true to yourself in all you do then you will not just cope, you will florish and prosper.