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  • tremainemichelle
    Its been awhile guys. Hope everything is doing well. I wanted to ask if any of you are dealing with what they think may be depression. I feel 0 motivation 0 confidence 0 drive. I feel stuck and just sad alot! I started a new job this past fall. My boy friend is still the most supportive and amazing person on the planet  I just feel Like I’m all wrong. I have never felt this emotional unbalanced before. I feel like I’m floating through life. I barely sleep. Everything is just a mess. I hate hate hate taking my copaxone injections my nerve pain meds don’t do a damn thing and I’m tired of going to the doctor to change to something new. I’m just frustrated and TIRED I’m 21 feeling like I’m dealing with a disease I don’t understand and can’t handle. And I talk to my doctors about all this. I stay on top of my appointment and keep them in the loop but it’s still not making me feel any better. I’m at a loss guys. 
  • maria1
    Hi Tremaine... maybe you are depressed and, maybe you are just tired. For two years now, you have been adapting, you have been working on problem solving every day, every moment, all the time, even when you sleep. There is so much for you to learn, about the new you, and the new world you live in, and it is not what you want, but what you have. If you want assistance with the emotional challenges, if you want a chemical fix that will change your perception of what is going on, if you think it will make things easier, ask your physician for a script for an antidepressant, it may give you the relief you need to make the transition easier, it could take the 'edge' of the bombardment of new you have to wade through. It is another tool we use to make our lives easier, you dont have to do everything the hard way.

    Living with ms is like walking knee deep through the mud with the wind in your face, and if you can laugh about that, it will make the trek a little less cumbersome.

    There is much to learn in the first years of living with ms, the changes the body goes through, the changes the mind goes through, and the way the changes both the body and the mind react to the world and the you watching it all. 

    We, each of us, has taken the same road you are travelling, we have hit the same bumps and pot holes and we have all done it with help, little niceties from unexpected sources that touch us at just the right time to give us a boost, not enough to fix everything, just a gentle smile to warm our way. We know what you are going through, we can not make the journey for you, we can just walk beside you as you strengthen your new legs on the road to a better life. It does get better though not as easy as it once was, but you will get stronger and your knowledge will grow, and we will cheer you on. 
  • cantstopwontstop
    Maria, 

    What a great reply and so well written. I am newly diagnosed as of 12/7/17 at 26. It really means a lot to read things such as this. The positivity I find in others fighting the same fight as me has lifted my spirits and mood 100% in my first month. Thank you!!!!!!
  • gabrielle519
    Hello Tremainemichelle,

    Thanks for sharing! I want you to know that you are absolutely 100% not alone. I am so sorry you feel this way. A lot of time with MS you can have anxiety and depression. I suffered silently with it  for a long time. The first step is understanding that you need help. You may not be able to do this on your own. My suggestion to you is get help see a counselor not necessarily someone to give you antidepressants but someone to listen and help you get through this hard time. I also want to give you the numbers to HOPELINE 1-800-273-8255 because they too can listen at any time if your having a hard time give them a call.

    The MS society is a great resource they can give you booklets to help you better understand your disease. Plus they have pamphlets on different medications if you think capaxone isn't a good fit. There are so many resources and people willing to help so use them. I wish you the best of luck. I hope you get out of your funk.
    Gabrielle
  • MS_Navigators

    Hi tremainemichelle,

    Depression is a very common symptom of MS.  I'm happy to hear you've talked to your doctor- but what about another professional like a counselor or psychiatrist?

    Here's some extra information about depression and MS that you may find of interest: 
    Depression and MS

    MS Navigator Jess

  • vernongordon
    Dear Tre,
    How do you feel about canabis?
    You may want to try it if legal in your state.
    It helps!!!!!!!
  • cantstopwontstop
    YES! I don’t ever want to take pain pills.
  • tremainemichelle
    Cannibas is helpful but I work for aviation and I can’t smoke or have it in my system unfortunately 
  • cantstopwontstop
    Tremaine,
    i am scared to start an injection myself and everything has a side effect and it’s just terrifying I am looking at pills or injection options now. I am not much older than you and I feel some of these things. I hate when I don’t sleep well and I am now on my third neurologist because I had to change insurance do to finally turning 26. I am so glad you have a supportive boyfriend because he is amazing for that. I believe if I was still dating a past boyfriend he woild make fun of me for my diagnoses.

    just keep looking ahead and for better days because that’s all we can do. Someone told me don’t rest on the past or future, just live for today and the present. You’re not wrong for having emotions. I remember in December I had a complete meltdown in front of my loving parents and Grandma because I could not find something the day after my final test to find out if I had MS. Sometimes you just gotta cry through it and be emotional. You deserve that. Don’t ever think you’re wrong girl ❤️

     
  • mynewnormal
    Hi, there what a beautiful smile!!!!  Please, Please, Please...don't give up!  Take a breather, literallly just breathe in and out and take things one day at a time....I know you feel out of balance right now; but try to speak to your favorite person, or go to your favorite place, burn some candles to relax at night....Choose a scented oil or aroma the pleases you.  Try little things to appease your senses.  Sending you a big hug!!!
  • SasRogue
    Ah Tre...This all sounds so familiar. I wasn’t always depressed but when you’re in your 20s and go through the process of doctors bouncing you around, it takes a toll. And being a psychologist graduate, I knew the first place I had to go. It was no longer in my hands. The process of does she have it, no she doesn’t, maybe she does, it’s all in your head, being in bed for 3 weeks unable to walk...I couldn’t fight what was happening in my head anymore. It was bigger than me. And in some cases the lesions are on areas of your brain that produce serotonin, which bring on depression and anxiety. So before everything I got on 3 meds just to stay SANE. It almost sounds like zero motivation and zero confidence comes with having MS, I hear it from every person myself included. But you have to keep going. You’re story isn’t done yet. You are aware that you’re very blessed with your boyfriend, a new job, and having a place to live. You’re still young you have children and school to look forward to, don’t let the negative get in your view. I would definitely see a psychiatrist and tell them what you’re feeling, and if they’re not listening find a different one. Some of those people rush you and you need to be heard. I have become more depressed and not motivated since I stopped working 3 years ago, sometimes I don’t change out of my pajamas. Actually everyday. But I’m still here, being a mom, a daughter, a wife. There’s people who need you Tre. Take a step back and reevaluate who’s counting on you. Get a fresh perspective on your life. Things may have changed. But YOURE STILL IN THERE. It’s ok to be tired, to hate the needles, you can’t guilt trip yourself. You already got something you didn’t deserve, you don’t need anymore stuff on top of that. It’s OK to need mental help.  :) thinking about you. 
  • brianb1979
    I can totally relate to how you feel. I had many of those feelings and decided to try Ciprolex.  I still feel my feelings but it’s like it takes the edginess away.  Everyone is different but for me it’s been amazing.  

    As for Cannabis, that’s a shame because I find it helps mute the pain and fatigue.  

    Keep fighting and and stay positive!

     
  • awilliams84
    I completely understand! I actually just switched treatments about 2 months ago because the injections were giving me so much anxiety. I had really bad injection site reactions and still have bruising on my legs.
    I've just recently noticed how zoned out I am all the time. Nothing really brings me joy right now and I think reading what you had to say resonated with me a lot. Maybe it is time to talk to someone about the depression. Wishing you luck on your journey!
  • cantstopwontstop
    What treatment did you switch to? I hope it’s working well!
  • awilliams84
    I switched to tecfidera.