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  • THERESAF
    First of all>I'm in Virginia nowhere nwhere near you; but we have a lot in commen.
    I have been married to my RetAF husband for 25 years. He is healthy and works for Chesapeake Jail...
    I have SPMS and got MS while in nursing school in 1993.
    Now, I'm home alone and can't even crochet anymore...
    Don't know what to  do except read or use the computer.

  • THERESAF
    First of all>I'm in Virginia nowhere nwhere near you; but we have a lot in commen.
    I have been married to my RetAF husband for 25 years. He is healthy and works for Chesapeake Jail...
    I have SPMS and got MS while in nursing school in 1993.
    Now, I'm home alone and can't even crochet anymore...
    Don't know what to  do except read or use the computer.

  • brad-parks
    kzak4151 wrote: TrishSue:  Wow!  Do we ever have ALOT in common!!!  Scary to be quite honest with you.  I too used to work with Special Needs children at our school for 13 years - Autistic Children - LOVE them!  They taught me so much.

    Depression is a part of MS (unfortunately) - I take Wellbutrin XL 450 mg daily - DEFINITELY helps!!  Been taking since 2003.  I got myself into counseling - HUGE help - as my counselor tells me:  "If it is out of your control...surrender it - if it is in your control, then do something about it"  Sometimes easier said than done. 

    I too am a veteran of the Air Force - yes...find your nearest VA service and they help you out financially.  How long ago did you get out?  Sometimes you can actually link your MS to where you were stationed at and/or it could have aggrivated it.  Trust me...I've done a TON of research.  Unfortunately...I can not receive Soc Sec because I worked for the school system for too long and never put in Soc Sec - the school puts in SERS.  I definitely don't get rich!

    Kharma - yes...it truly exists.  My husband of soon to be 25 years was also very verbally and emotionally abusive.  He has cheated on me more than once - He swore he would never do it again - but before he was set to deploy he decided to "confide" in a coworker - but oh...nothing happened - seriously?  do you think I'm that stupid?  Well...on his last training day prior to deployment he was seriously injured.  Make a long story short...In the beginning - I know it was bad and wrong but I told him that paybacks were a B*t*c*h weren't they?  He of course didn't find the humor in it.  Oh well.  He broke his back and is fused from L3-S1, has permanent bladder/bowel problems, premanent nerve damage, 3 herniated discs in his neck and is depressed, in pain constantly, etc...it has been a very long 2 years - he finally got off active duty 2 weeks ago and is on permanent disability retirement from the military as well as Social Security.  He will NEVER be the same again.  He can't lift over 15 lbs, push/pull, climb ladders, etc...I have no choice but to either do it or hire it done and even then you count on others. 

    As I've told him...now HE knows how I feel!!!  Sucks - definitely sucks.  He has come a long way especially through counseling through the VA and he too is on Wellbutrin - lifesaver drug to say the least my dear.  We get along better now than we have in the 25 years we've been married.  It's amazing what a jolt in THEIR life can give to them.

    Just knowing that only you can protect you, advacate for you and take care of you - you can do anything you put your mind to - trust me - you muster of the courage my dear.  Shed many tears - but continue on.

    IF I were in your shoes - I would tell Mr. Wonderful that he has two choices - either go to counseling WITH you so that he can try and understand what it's like to be in your shoes or hit the road.  Plain and simple.  OK...so we need them - they don't need to know that - if they think you DON"T need them and can do it alone - believe me...they come around and quickly I might add.  You are more than welcome to shoot me an email at kzak4151@yahoo.com anytime.  I think we have tons in common and you ARE strong and you WILL go forward and you WILL conquer this because you are NOT alone.  We here in Ohio stick together my dear!!!!


  • TrishSue
    Hello to ALL!

    My name is Trish and I live in Hamilton Ohio.
    I moved here 3 years ago so I wasn't really familiar with the doctors here.
    I live about 25 minutes from Cincinnati and I am currently seeking a new Neurologist due to the fact the one I chose is JUST a neurologist. He has very little knowledge of MS.
    It can be very frustrating to go to see a doctor who really doesnt do anything except fill my Copaxone refills basically.

    I am at my wits end right now.

    Any suggestions?

    Thanks bunches
    God bless you ALL!!!

    Trish
  • joynerthedad
    ExxxxxxxxxACTLY!! MY PLAN!!!
    I begin substituting again Aug 22nd and then I will have a little extra mula to put back and save...this will take time and some extra money.
    Thanks! : )
    Seems like you have met the group.  A lot of really nice people here.  Have agood night Trish.
  • TrishSue
    Yes I joined the Y under the low income program last Sept I am still a member until Sept 15th it expires....I went to the Second St YMCA off High Street. They didnt ask for my boy friends income they said unless he wants to have a membership I dont need to show his income all they asked for was my Soc Sec statement and my bank statement and application....Well here it is time for me to renew my membership...I brought my bank statements in with my Soc Sec letter and filled out a new application, expressing why I would like to join the Y.
    The lady calls me up and says why didnt I bring my boyfriends income in with my stuff?
    I said, "last year they didnt ask me for it becuz he didnt want a membership?
    She said Oh well we need his Workmans comp information.
    He was injured in January and had Hernia surgery June 18th...
    Workmans Comp is only going to pay him thru Sept 4th....the he will not have any income at all?????
    Then what?
    She said I needed to bring in his bank stuff and paystubs anyways.....
    OMGOSH!!
    Soooo I figure I will wait until Sept 4th bring the letter in telling her he has NO MORE Workmans comp and no more paychecks....they will have to give me my membership...I HOPE! LOL!!!
    Thanks for the info!
    (((HUGS)))
  • TrishSue
     THANKS MARIA!!!
  • TrishSue
    In Cincy area....Hamilton Ohio!!
    Where are you Kelly?
  • TrishSue
    WOWee!!! Yes you truly so have quite a lot in common with me!! Jimminey Crickets!!!
    I was in the Army National Guard went for my weekend drills months before going to Ft McClellan for my basic training...unfortunately I had a rought time with my feet and the old issue army boots...they put me in sneaker profile for 2 weeks, no jumping and running...back into the boots and then again standing at parade-rest I felt as tho I had bruises on the balls of my feet...I went to see orthopefic docs not podiatrists unfortunately...in my medical records it states "TENDER METATARSALS"...they put my feet in a tub of ice cold water to numb them...cut the callouses off the balls of my feet, made fun of me etc and so on...I couldnt complete my basic training due to my foot problems...sad but true. I was in all together for 5 months and 23 days...they decided to give me a trainee discharge which was honorable. When i got out from the military I waitressed which was the only work I could find...I got out in Feb1981....and had NO medical insurance...so I out inserts in my shoes...came home after working got 2 ice cube trrays put my feet in a roasting pan of cold water to numb my cramped toes and painful feet so I could sleep and then got back up the nect day and worked. After a few years...we hit rock bottom and had to apply for government assistance...BINGO I got on Medicaid!!! First place I went was to see a podiatrist in Pennsyvania where we were living at the time ( when I was married) . The podiatrist xrayed my feet and said I have neuromas between my bones from the metatarsals falling they had to be cut out...then there were many other surgeries needed that would follow. It would take several surgeries to get my feet back to a little comfort...but he said quote: "you'll never be a ballerina!" LOL!
    All together from 1988 to 2005...I've had 8 foot surgeries, 6 of them were bone. My third metatarsal in my left foot was lifted 3 x...the 4th in my left foot was lifted 3 x also...I had pieces of bone taken out from the side of my big toe on each foot...from all the years of not having insurance to take care of my feet and the millitary "NEGLECTING" to see there was a problem....my feet was the first thing they added to my disability. My nerves in my wrists were damaged from the years of waitressing...then on top of all that...in 1998 I was diagnosed with MS. I seriously doubt that it is Millitary related...now MY FEET...Oh YES they are Millitary related!! I've been to the NCDVA in North Carolina (another place we lived when I was married) been before the Traveling Board...before a tape recorded hearing...cried and cried telling them my life changed BECAUSE my feet were NEGLECTED and over looked!!! I had "TENDER METATASALS" in the millitary...and is it a cooincidence that I had my METATARSAL BONES lifted in both feet? HELLO??? : (
    I appealed it 4 times I reopened the case...last time was when I was living in Indiana ( where I moved to after the divorce ) and where I raised my kids for 11 years near my immediate family.
    In my 19 years of marriage I was pushed down stairs, had teeth knocked out, smacked in my face over and over again in front of the children, verbal abuse was horrific! when he had the affair in 1999....it was due to my MS diagnose and he met a woman who let him have she and another woman at the same time! Two years later he married "THAT" thing! But it gave me the freedom I asked the Lord for and I took it!!! : )
    I moved to Indiana in 2000.... across the river from Louisville Ky to be near my Mom and Grandmom and sisters....in 2004 I lost my Grandmother...in 2006 I lost my Mother...It was just me and the LORD.............................  : )
    Since my diagnosis I've worked a few jobs teaching special needs kids and also I worked in the local shelter in Indiana...11pm-7am so that i could be home for the kids if they needed Mom while they were in school. I sold my plasma...cleaned a couple houses a month with a friend....did everything I could to put a roof over the kids heads and food on the table....and to see how they are to me now...CUTE my heart like a two-edged-sword! :(
    I met Wayne at Thunder Over Louisville....3 weeks before Kentucky Derby they have a huge fireworks display between Kenntuck and Indiana....we fell in love right away it seemed....then came the proposal...he wanted to marry me so badly...he asked me over and over again...we drove to meet my Father and step mother in Pennsyvania so he could ask my father's permission to marry me....We were like something out of a fairytale....I gave up my 11 yrs of Independence furniture except for my bedroom suit in the basement here...and a few boxes of collectables....I gave it all up for LOVE and marriage and happiness and moved 2 hours from my kids and grand kids to ohio from Indiana.....now its 28 months later and he tells me...."He isnt ready to get married?"  He tells me to shut up...I get the silent treatment when I ask him something he doesnt want to talk about...I get told "If I didnt want you here Trish...TRUST me you wouldnt be here!!!" and so on and so on...etc etc....OMG!!! Yeah true story......I was flabergasted....I ache deep in my heart I feel as though its my MS and my back problems that is keeping him from marrying me....he says its not...but in my heart I know how much he wanted to marry me.......so I found employment to keep me busy and take my mind off of things.....I applied with the schools here and I worked 3 1/12 days a week with one special little boy. I was his shadow teacher. They say he caused problems so he needed a teacher to follow him from class to class...in 3 months time I didnt have any problems with Austin...go figure? LOL!
    I appreciate the litle things in life bcuz I raised my 3 kids alone for 11 years in Indiana and their sperm donor lives in North Carolina....they havent seem him for 3 years now...I was alone in every way...God was everything to me and HE was the ROCK I leaned on!
    When my youngest child turned 18 two years ago their father was $70,000.00 in arrearages of back support! 
    I came here to ohio to be in love and to be happy....after the life I had of abuse and working my tail off to take care of my kids alone for 11 years...I was ready for some happiness.....this is upsetting me talking about all of this....but I have to get this off my shoulders....its tearing me up inside! I have nothing here!!! NOTHING!!! Its HIS house and his furniture...and I know nobody here!!! If he told me to leave I would be homeless...if I left I would be homeless....I am scared to death and stressed and feel so alone....I never had to worry about the roof over my head for 11 years ai had perfect rental credit...utilities perfect...phone cable etc....and NOW I feel soooooo damn Insecure!!! Its so stressing!!!
    Why am I telling you all of this...I am sorry...i ju
    I just needed to vent to someone....I'm so sorry.
    Thanks for listening dear friend.
    God Bless!!!
    Say a prayer!!!
    ((((((HUGS)))))))
  • TrishSue
    Hamilton Ohio : )
  • TrishSue
    well everyone i walked out yesterday on wayne after having a big fight...staying with my friends for weekend....the shelters were full...monday i need to go to the shelter i need so much help i am so overwhelmed right now...i need to get my stuff from waynes house...my cats there...i have no truck to even get my stuff....now I am homeless....called several places but theres waiting lists...or for assisted living places they say i am too young.....i am soooooo upset....tried calling ms line left messgaes....i need HELP!!! omg i feel so alone.....i cannot stay here with my friend n her hubby....i feel so awful!!! Any suggestions????
  • TrishSue
     THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
    I WILL CALL and get some therapy!!!
    ((((((HUGS))))))))
  • TrishSue
     Thank you very much!!!
    I wrote the numbers down I know I need to get into support group!

    Bless you!!!
  • maria1
    Trish,
    I just saw an ad on tv for aid to homeless vets

    call 877-4aid-vet
           877-424-3838
    usgov/homeless

    hope it works.
  • kzak4151
    Holy Cow TrishSue - We DEFINITELY have tons in common.  You never said what the military did for you after you went in front of that board and tape recorded hearing.  Now you will REALLY be freaked out.  I was in the Air Force.  Passed the MEPS physical (as did you)  While standing at attention, I began to pass out.  I too was put on a waiver, made fun of, etc...I wasn't allowed to "march" or participate in standing at attention or anything like that.  They had an early out program because there were cutbacks - trust me...I took it immediately - was in about 3 1/2 years and got out with a  Honorable Discharge.  My husband was in the Ohio Army Nat'l Guard until he was activated.  I understand about the kids as well.  You bust your tail, talk til you're blue in the face, support them in EVERYTHING, know they'll go far, only for them to turn around and disrespect you, but feel entitled right??? NOT YOUR FAULT in any way, shape or form - it's kids today.  I found that out while working at the school - they would rather mow you over in the hallways than say excuse me, etc...such lack of respect - they think the world owes them everything and kids today have absolutely no work ethics, even tho they see us bust our a**es day in and day out and for what?  For them to have what we didn't and now that's what they expect.  Did I hit it on the nose?  LOL

    Did you say you get Social?  If so...you may want to be very careful working at the school dear - if you can be on your feet during the day - they may take it away - trust me...discovered the system!!  How long have you worked for the school?  You should be able to apply for disability through the schools as well - especially with MS and your feet.  Mine went through in 3 months.  I dont' get rich that's for certain.  But at least it's a paycheck and it's YOURS!!!  I don't even have to go back and get exams because the doc said until there is a cure for MS I don't need to see you.

    Did you ever file a "claim" with the VA?  You definitely should.  If you go to the National MS Foundation - I believe you'll find (put in search engine) like things that may trigger MS - Alot of times they say that traumatic things, viruses, etc...may trigger it - sounds as if your foot problems may have just activated it, aggrivated it, etc...ok...perhaps it wont go through the first time - keep trying - and if and when they do decided that it did - you'll get all that back pay from when you first claimed it.  You're VA Services will help you fill out the paperwork. 

    Is your so-called boyfriend good to you for the most part?  Or verbally and emotionally abusive?  IF not good - get out girl - you can do it - you did it before and you can do it again. 

    OMG...I lost my mother in 2006 as well - she was my best friend - she had inoperable lung cancer.  Passed away March 11, 2006.  Tomorrow would have been her 75th birthday.  Gonna be a rough day tomorrow.  But I know she is in a much better place and she and I talk - people must think I'm crazy when they see me talking and crying in my car when I'm alone.  OH well - makes me feel better.  Almost lost my dad this past March - right around March 11 - SCARY!!!!  He has diabetes and his sugar spiked up to 1228.  Had my son not have found him, he wouldn't be with us - the Doctor said he wouldn't have made it another 2 hours.  Thank the GOOD LORD he found him when he did and called 911.  We happened to be in South Carolina at the time.

    My son is 21 - going on about 5 sometimes.  He graduated HS with 21 credit hours - went to Adrian to play golf - lasted 1 semester and came home during Christmas break to "take care of me" because that's when his father decided to "talk" to his co-worker.  Are you kidding me?  He signed up for school around here but never really attended classes.  Dropped out last year - 2 classes shy of an Associates.  Quit a $15.00 hr job because he didn't like the hours - hello???  Really?  2 weeks before school starts back up and he hasn't done a thing.  His loss;  He had a marine recruiter here last year and scored a 98% on the practice ASVAB - the recruiter said in all of his 7 years no one has even come that close to scoring a perfect score.  He has such potential - Boys State, Eagle Scout, etc...and now he works at a drive through!  Really???  Worse than an old woman - knows everyone's business around this tiny town.  Ridiculous.  Has the world by the butt - does nothing about it.  One day he'll wake up and realize that I wasn't as dumb as he thought.  Hopefully it won't be too late!

    Are you close now with any of your children?  Are they nearby?  Did you ask your livein if he would go to counseling?

    I've heard the same song and dance...if I didn't want you here - you wouldn't be here - seriously??  No...If I wasn't so da*n desperate I wouldn't be here LOL!!!!! Your butt would be kicked to the curb so fast it would make your head spin.  IF...he gets out of control- call 911 and they will kick his A** out - not yours.  After being married for 19 years - don't you even get alimony?  Did you take the sperm donor to court and have his butt locked up for not paying child support and being in arrears?  Where there is a will...trust me dear...there is a way.  I'm in YOUR corner!!!  Although we just met - I'm only a few hours from you and you are MORE than welcome to come up here - it's a small rural town - historical - birthplace of Thomas Edison - my house is actually listed on our website since it was built in 1829.  One of the 1st homes here.  You'd love it here!!!!  Seriously.  Think about it.

    It's easier to be strong when you have others in your court and that have your back.  I'm not just blowing smoke your way - I'm being very honest.  Let me know!  Hang in there and go file a claim dear.
  • TrishSue
    Kelly I may take ya up on your offer...I need friends right now....
    I need to talk to you when youre feeling better.
    Theres so much going on right now...sheesh!
    I wish we could talk......I feel so alone...  : (
    He has good days when he speaks to me and other days I dont exhist????
    OMG!!!
    Lord give me strength!!!!!!!!!!!
  • TrishSue
    I will try to call you in the morning on my way to the YMCA. OK! 
    I didnt go today...I was too depressed.....  : (
    Thanks for being there for me!!!
    ((((HUGS)))))))
  • TrishSue
    Hey Chickie we really have tooooo MUCH in common!!!
    Email me at  mommykat42@yahoo.com
    You seem to have a lot of experience and knowledge in the things I need help with.
    If you're on yahoo add me on messenger ok!
    TTYS!!!
    Thanks so much for being my friend and all of your kinda words and encouragement!
    (((HUGS)))
    Trish
  • TrishSue
    What part of town and state do you live in exactly?
    Ohio?
  • TrishSue
    As far as my Soc Sec disability I still get it unless my disability goes away they said...I just lost my SSI becuz I work part time. I have to call this number each month to report my wages and I cannot make anymore than $750. a month they said....I cannot lose my disability unless I go over that amount. So I am VERY careful not to go over that amount gross each month.
    I havent had a check since my last weeks work check first week of June....Soooo I reported my (ZERO) wages for July...and I will have zero wages for Aug also cuz I will not begin subbing till after Aug 22nd....
    As for the millitary...I was D-E-N-I-E-D by the board...traveling board...taped hearing and 5 appeals....after each surgery I reopened my claim...and each time I was denied over and over again........ IT SUCKS!
    i have a file from letters to presidents, state senators and congressman and my VA file is about 4 inches thick...LOL!!!