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  • Victoria3
    How do you get your family ( kids and husband) to be interested in finding out what I'm going through ? I don't doubt their love and care but I'm trying to share things about symptoms, ms info, etc and they won't reciprocate interest! They don't get how hard it is to work full time, I can hardly walk and talk at the same time and my brain feels like mush! I'd appreciate any insight:/ P.S. I was just diagnosed in Oct. this year
  • maria1
    Try talking out loud about what is going on, even if they are not paying attention some of it will sink in, even if they don;t want to hear it, say it, Oh, today, my legs are not working, yesterday it was my eyes. Give them information, You know shooting myself is a pretty disgusting feeling. Short sentences at first, a little at a time. Speak to the wall, Hey wall, I walked into you ten times today. Do it when someone is passing, like dropping hints. Hey, do this for me please, I cant see it. thank you very much I appreciate it. The more you talk the more you will be able to see what is going on with you. Make it a project about you. You want relief, talking will give it to you, make them the captive audience. TALK talk even if they walk away finish the thought.
  • maria1
    also consider saying, I can not do that for you today, I am in too much pain.
    I cant make supper tonite my hands are dropping things.
    I did not do laundry today i am too tired.etc.
  • MSCathy
    Hello again Vicki....I just saw this post and wanted to respond...it is very hard at best to get anyone who doesn't have MS to understand in the way we'd like them to because quite honestly we don't understand this disease ourselves! I'm grateful that my husband took an interest right from the start...he jumped in with both feet and researched and educated himself and then helped me try to understand this as best I could (still don't get it fully) and then we took the kids (ages 30, 17 and 15) and sat them down to let them know what was going on with mom...showed them videos. They still don't understand and I'm sure that they all hope and pray that mom will just be back to normal...my 15 year old broke my heart when he said those words to me but I just thanked him when he said that and said that I wish I was back to normal too! All I can offer to you at this stage is to research and educate yourself as much as you can handle and continue to try and pass what you learn on to your husband and kids. Try having them sit down with you to watch a video with you that you find that can explain a bit of what you can relate to....we found one that was called a day in the life of. Hope this helps you in some way and do know I am here to read and reply to your posts as others do!
  • danmanaz
    I know what you mean.  I've been DX for a year now and the family still doesn't understand.   My wife lives in a world where the glass is always half full.  I don't think she really wants to
    know all about MS, as if somehow it will make everything worse.  She has been very supportive through all this, but I feel is still in a state of denial.  I try to talk to her about my career and how difficult it is becoming, but the answer always is "you can do 6 more years"
    which would be my retirement.  Everyday is a struggle, but I work with good people who seem to understand better than my wife.  Hang in there, I don't really have any good advice except what I keep telling my self-could have been a brain tumor or cancer....lol
  • MS_Navigator_Robin
    Hi Vicki,

    You've gotten some great feedback on here - I just wanted to mention a few resources that might also be of interest:

    Knowledge is Power is a great tool for anyone who is touched by an MS diagnosis - if you haven't called already to see what the status of your request is, please do so and we'll be happy to arrange to have it sent to you either via email or postal mail
    .
    Plaintalk: A Booklet about MS for Families discusses some of the more difficult physical and emotional problems many families face.

    Someone You Know Has MS: A Book for Families is a cartoon booklet for children ages 5-12.

    Timmy’s Journey to Understanding MS is an animated cartoon that shares a little boy's adventure learning about MS.  It's available in DVD format.

    When a Parent Has MS: A Teenager’s Guide is written for older children and teenagers who have a parent with MS. It discusses real issues brought up by real teenagers. 

    All of these publications are available at  no cost - you can read them online by following the links in this message, or contact us (1-800-344-4867, option 1 or via email) and we will be happy to send you hard copies of any publications you think would be helpful in supporting open communication with family members.

    Finally, the book Multiple Sclerosis: A Guide for Families is a wonderful resource.  When you contact us, ask if it's available to borrow through your chapter's lending library; if not it may be available at your local public library or you can order it online (be sure to use the code NMSS2013 for 20% off your order).
  • CowboysnAngels
    How do you get your family ( kids and husband) to be interested in finding out what I'm going through ? I don't doubt their love and care but I'm trying to share things about symptoms, ms info, etc and they won't reciprocate interest! They don't get how hard it is to work full time, I can hardly walk and talk at the same time and my brain feels like mush! I'd appreciate any insight:/ P.S. I was just diagnosed in Oct. this year
    I totally get what you are saying, I was just diagnosed in October.  I still don't know what to think about this MS stuff myself.  My soon to be 90 year old mother lives with my husband and I, and she doesn't get it...at all.  I stopped saying anything about it to her, because she will change the subject and talk about her own ailments.  Or she will say, "I hope you start feeling better soon" like I have the flu or something.  My husband on the other hand is wonderful.  He knows when I'm tired and suggests with a gentle nudge that I go lie down.  I too am working full time, and usually by the time I get home and eat dinner, I'm ready for bed by seven thirty at night.  But that's what I have to do to keep myself going.  I wish I had an answer for you.  My two cents is that I am the only one who knows how I feel, so I have to be a little selfish in that, I will sit or lie down as I need to.  I totally over-did it at Thanksgiving, and found myself furniture walking as my legs grew very tired.  Please write anytime, it's so nice to have others we can identify with.
  • Keeper_of_the_pack
    i'm right there with you. When l was dx, June, 2011, l had to sort through my emotions before l was able to involve/educate my far-flung circle of family and friends. I found the "Knowledge is Power" series, available to newly dx folks through the National MS Society, to be bang on! They send you one chapter a week for six to eight weeks and it just hit me where l needed it at the time. I sent out chapter # 4, "Maintaining Healthy Relationships", along with a cover letter to my inner core of family and friends. It started a dialog, established what my challenges were and generally let everyone know that l was doing the best l could. That took a lot of pressure off of me since now they understood why l didn't answer emails quickly and just didn't have the energy or time to have long telephone conversations. My situation varies from yours, but this laid a great foundation. Best to you on the journey.
  • Victoria3
    Thanks..that's a big help! My husband is awesome and doesn't mind making dinner and is fine with me "resting", which I seem to do a lot! Lol I will try the video. I do think I'm really going to like this resource;)
  • Victoria3
    I'm usually the 1/2 full girl but my job is kicking my butt right now and it's getting harder to have that attitude. I was, however thankful for the diagnosis of ms vs. what I thought was a stroke or something worse! Lol This is a great tool for support though ;)
  • Andie_Girl
    I really understand this aspect of MS! Im 28 now married and a daughter that is seven. I was diagnosed oct 09'. I feel like my entire family thinks I want to be lazy! and even my husband says it is a mind over matter thing. So I push so hard, then my body takes a week to recovery! sounds like im just complaning! hope all is well with all! God Blese
  • Victoria3
    You're not complaining. If it was mind over matter there wouldn't be all of our mri's with Martians on our brains! Lol Have you watched any of the videos on the ms society website? They're some really good ones. I'm going to get my family to watch them because I really need them to have a better understanding of this disease! Give yourself some grace and don't try to do everything because you think you're suppose to!! You have to take care of yourself or you won't be able to take care of anyone, especially your daughter! Keep posting and seek out the support that's here and contact your local chapter! Praying for you!
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    I’m 40 years old and my husband is 44. We’ve been trying to conceive for 6 years now, and had 3 rounds of failed IVF. My doctors said I couldn’t develop any eggs. My FSH levels were high and progesterone levels were too low. I luckily heard about your herbal drugs and it took me some months after to order, because I was skeptical. But when I called and spoke to a live person, I realized it was real. My order got to me really quickly, and I only took two bottles and I got pregnant! I am still so surprised! I never thought it would happen that soon. It was unbelievable! I’m glad I followed my intuition and bought this herbal herbs .I have to also tell my friend who is also trying to get pregnant and she is ready to buy too from you, no more delay. Thank you.Dr Natasha for putting smiles in my life..pregnancyherbs@gmail.com pregnancyherbs@gmail.com   pregnancyherbs@gmail.com   pregnancyherbs@gmail.com
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    I’m 40 years old and my husband is 44. We’ve been trying to conceive for 6 years now, and had 3 rounds of failed IVF. My doctors said I couldn’t develop any eggs. My FSH levels were high and progesterone levels were too low. I luckily heard about your herbal drugs and it took me some months after to order, because I was skeptical. But when I called and spoke to a live person, I realized it was real. My order got to me really quickly, and I only took two bottles and I got pregnant! I am still so surprised! I never thought it would happen that soon. It was unbelievable! I’m glad I followed my intuition and bought this herbal herbs .I have to also tell my friend who is also trying to get pregnant and she is ready to buy too from you, no more delay. Thank you.Dr Natasha for putting smiles in my life..pregnancyherbs@gmail.com pregnancyherbs@gmail.com   pregnancyherbs@gmail.com   pregnancyherbs@gmail.com
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    I’m 40 years old and my husband is 44. We’ve been trying to conceive for 6 years now, and had 3 rounds of failed IVF. My doctors said I couldn’t develop any eggs. My FSH levels were high and progesterone levels were too low. I luckily heard about your herbal drugs and it took me some months after to order, because I was skeptical. But when I called and spoke to a live person, I realized it was real. My order got to me really quickly, and I only took two bottles and I got pregnant! I am still so surprised! I never thought it would happen that soon. It was unbelievable! I’m glad I followed my intuition and bought this herbal herbs .I have to also tell my friend who is also trying to get pregnant and she is ready to buy too from you, no more delay. Thank you.Dr Natasha for putting smiles in my life..pregnancyherbs@gmail.com pregnancyherbs@gmail.com   pregnancyherbs@gmail.com   pregnancyherbs@gmail.com
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