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  • Colleen1
    I was dx in 2005.  Since then I have had to stop working due to cognitive/anxiety issues.  I am wondering if anyone else has short term memory issues, which in turn cause anxiety problems which then becomes a cycle.  I get looks from my friends and family about things that I have no memory of, but once I realize I've messed up again, I break out in a sweat and want to go off by myself.  I have battled major depression for my entire adult life.  Multi-tasking has become nearly impossible and I need to write notes everywhere to remind me to do the most mundane things (pay rent, grocery shopping, etc)  When I'm out of my house, I'm so hyper-vigilant because I'm just waiting to hear that I've forgotten something/someone.  This is NOT fun....
  • Anica
    Wow, I can so relate to your situation.  You are not alone.  However, I don't have the associated anxiety.  Cognitive and language issues are the first to manifest for me with any of the 3 common triggers - heat, fatigue, or stress.  The people that know I have MS are aware that if I mess up it's due to the MS, they  just clarify things and move on.  Those that don't know I have MS are just confused for a little while and things just kind of work out.  For memory issues I have notes all around me.  I've tried lists and reminders in a journal but I would forget to look in the journal !  I have to write notes on small bits of paper and keep them in site on counters and desks so I can always see them.  Wanted to give you my support and let you know there are others of us out here.
  • nursep
    I agree! I was telling Shawnzi i had that in November while trying to work and do Thanksgiving. Busy and tired is a bad combo and although you are not working the anxiety you were speaking of can make your body "feel" busy or at least it does mine. lol.
    Yes!!! that is my least favorite symptom!!! very least favorite! I can take the pain, the fatigue, the physical disability even but I CANNOT accept losing my mental abilities!! I have even come to realize my mental acuity has decreased as I am no longer the Trivia Champ.
    Alas, I had my november with notes everywhere and double and triple checking myself. really had to pay attention in the car when driving.
    When my meds were decreased (Interferon) I noticed an improvement. As well as, not trying to get so much done, resting up a bit more and focusing on one thing at a time. Hope that helps and that you are well and wish you the best!
  • barliman
    I can relate.  My most severe symptoms are cognitive/memory loss.  I have virtually NO short term memory.  I am constantly amazed at the memories my family has, but I don't.  Sometimes I feel I can't trust my own mind, I have trouble with words and grammar.  After being a secretary 30 years, I find I have trouble spelling even simple words, where that was not the case in my 20-30s

    I have also battled with clinical depression, PMDD and PMD, and PTSD.  I am on high levels of antidepressants and have been for 10 years.  Lucikly some of the cyclical problems are easing up as I near menopause, but that has it's own set of problems.

    Life is hard, and when you have a disorder few people understand, it's even harder.

    I suppose none of this really helps you except to let you know you are not alone.

    I've had MS probably 30 years, in the past four years I've graduated to SPMS.  No flares for 4 years, but the symptoms I have just keep getting worse.

    Cognitive issues caused me to leave my job in 2011.  I was on state disability, but have been denied SSI.  Now I'm trying to go back to work, hoping I can still do it.
  • Cordelia
    I so understand where you are coming from....I find it hard to be social because of how I speak because I am constantly saying or doing the wrong thing....I still work but it's hard to remember to complete things....something so simple can be tricky for me...
  • writemyline
    Colleen, you aren't alone in this awful place!
  • GG13
    I spent the last 10 years in a fog of from Tegretol, an anti-seizure drug. My neurologist said that they don't even use it anymore. Once I went off of it, everything seems clear as a bell compared to where I was. I can carry a thought through a conversation and I can actually carry on a conversation without embarasement from forgetting my point. For many years...I would just sit by and listen. Don't discount the side effects of drugs.
  • 50eric
    Sounds familier :) I was dx in 1994 and have struggled with major depression/anxiety for years. The last few memory and fatigue has become severe. I am in the SSID application process which I put off for many years but can not any more.
  • Colleen1
    Thanks for corresponding with me.  I swear the cognitive issue is far worse than the physical ones.  I seem to have the constant fear I'm forgetting something.
  • Michellle
    writemyline-Wow! This is why I connect. Because only we who are in this awful place of the many symptoms that we don't know which one will hit us next-we know and can share our pain and get angry and truly express our feelings.Thank you for your realistic approach to this horrible disease. Michellle

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