The old saying, "I didn't know what i didn't know." has been a hard pill to swallow while navigating my one unpredictable moments at a time during this first year of being newly diagnosed. All my previous 50 some odd years of life experience has surely not prepared me for this.
I've read and heard about how this being "newly diagnosed" stage of having MS can be but a tramatic blurp in life...how these first couple few years of finally knowing that what is wrong with me is NOT "all in my head", but really is all in my head. Having the rug pulled right out from under me in life in my particular place is unique and typical at the same time. The complications of being "invisibly" chonically ill presents an entirely new spin on life in the latter years...like being forced into an early retirement without preparation in any facet of my life. Interjects utter chaos into every and all my important relationships of my life. Failed expectations pile up and the solutions to these unfamiliar moments appear far from graceful to myself and others. It's heartbreaking...having to walk over the dead bodies who just plain do not understand what is happening, refusing to slow down and take a deep breath.
The overwhelming challenge is relearning what life is all about in later years when the half century of life experiences typically make navigating life more comfortably and with certainty suddenly do not work so well. Cunning, baffling and powerful...the powerlessness yields overwhelming anxiousdepression. Truly makes being happy vs being right a whole new ballgame. Being happy, being grateful, is way more important for self-care and the best quality of life possible given new unfamiliar limitations.
I really wish i could buy the book, "MS for Dummies...the Joe version." and have the entire deal mapped out in easy, user friendly, step by step graceful directions for MY life....wouldn't that be just wonderful!?....LOL
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