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  • justdiagnosed
    Right so I’m out of hospital properly had beer for the first time last night and stayed at a friends and now tonight I’m back in my place and I’m just sitting here I actually don’t think I’ve ever felt so lonely in my life before.amm I bought a playstation thinking that would solve something but nope that’s basically a sitting there and shoot lots of people on the tv thing.ive no idea wtf to do like filling my day with positive stuff is going against the grain of  what I want to do which I Havnt got a clue is.tommorow the weekend starts which I can already tell is going to be absolutely horrendous basically sitting here I don’t wanna end up having beer and crap food but that’s defo in the post which scares me more cause it’s not good for ms and if this thing goes bad I’m screwed it prob boils down to go and date someone  but even that feels like a past life now how on earth do you bring up the subject that you have ms and wouldn’t they just run after a quick google so end point is I’m fairly miserable starting out this new life and how on earth do you lot do this 
  • maria1
    Can you order in Chinese food? enough to nuke for the weekend? I wish I could.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, even hitler was loved, imagine that? Lately, I have been watching Grey's amatomy on netflix, never saw it before. It is a program about emotionally immature individuals with technical skills. Every episode is cry worthy and absurd. You think you got it bad, they run rings around us any day. Theatre in the absurd for sure, it will distract you into Seattle where it always rains, maybe that is why they are so deficient? 

    There are some people who must have someone to amuse them, they can not figure out how to amuse themselves, everything has always been done for them?

    What makes you laugh
    What makes you happy
    What makes you sad
    What makes you cry

    What do you do to amuse yourself? really occupy your time, distract you to the point of time passing without notice?
  • justdiagnosed
    How’s she cuttin Maria thanks for replying 
    Amm self examination may help but what’s feeling lacking is options for stuff outside of me I certainly wouldn’t be content sitting in all day I’ve slowly started telling people about this so far I’m at 3 which is grand like one is calling up and staying tommorow night but even that just feels very excuse the pun but meh feels like I’m craving something else but thats gone now I don’t know if that makes any sense 
  • maria1
    We are having a week of ice and rain. I feel like I am attached to a fishing line with a whole bunch of sinkers keeping me glued to the couch and the bed, wishing a drone would deliver some Chinese food. The dampness is sooooooooooo heavy I am surprised I can keep my eyes open. 

    Most of the time I think about what is going on, mentally physically and emotionally and which needs the attention at the time. Lately my mind is telling me to pick up some colored pencils and do some drawing. I have a box of half finished pieces that want attention, my mind keeps saying, do it do it do it, and my body says nah. Then the mind says I got all that fabric sitting, beautiful colors - I love color, except when i get into a black and white mood, and sewing is beckoning, but again nah. Am I just wasting time??? Doin notin?? nah! Sometimes it takes time for the creative juices to coalesce, time for the brain to scramble a few eggs into something productive, until then - wait. Sometime we just need to wait for our brains to figure it out without us, or maybe we just need to wait for the miserable weather to pass, or maybe we just dont wanna, like when we were kids. This too shall pass, we just gotta wait long enough, tsk, tsk.
  • RQManchester
    Hi Hi!    I feel real bad for you, hi!  Don't think a post has hit me this hard before.  My son is your age, and I can really relate to the playstation.  I have multiple sclerosis, and I have had it for 14 years.  I do pretty good.

    My advice to you is that of a mother.  Times come in our lives that test us, that deeply change us, and that move us out in new directions.  Everybody, no matter what the situation is, goes through a time like this in their life.  I don't know if you are a Christian, but for me, I can only make sense of life through that lens.  That God has a bigger purpose in mind for your life than you can possible see right now.  I could never make it without God in any area of my life -- NEVER!  

    If you are close to your parents, please reach out to them until you get a grasp on this.  This is only the first weekend, and you will find your way back to normalcy.  It will take some effort on your part and some research on the best way to help yourself, but you will find your way back to normalcy.  I will pray for you!  It will be okay!
  • gabrielle519
    Hello again!

    I have some questions before you were diagnosed what were you doing? Were you in school? Did you have a job? Do you still have a job?

    Why I ask because I work fulltime and if I didn't I would lose my mind. I know myself and I would sit at home all day being sad about my life. I found a great job for my MS that is great for me. I am also planning on going back to school because just because I have MS doesn't mean it limits my goals and aspirations. Yes my life has changed but I make it for the good. I also volunteer at the Cleveland Metroparks. I love it I am careful of the jobs I sign up for because I don't want to get hurt or hurt someone else because the job is too hard for me.

    Dating it took me a long time to get to a point where I was ready to date. I have been working on myself so much I didn't have time to work on a relationship. I thought the same thing if I tell someone they are going to run for the hills. I learned that that isn't true. Not all people are like that. Everyone has stuff they are going through. We all have skeletons in the closet. People just don't like to admit it. I mean I was emotionally abused by my parents and consequently was looking for guys who abused me just the same.

    My advice is take time to find yourself and find the new you. MS is a disease that I have learned to live it. I have had so many people on my side helping me cheering me on. I didn't eat healthy right away. I actually just recently started eating healthy and losing weight. It took me time to get where I am now. It took me years. My parents wanted it sooner and everyone tried to push me but I wasn't ready. I was depressed and unhappy. I did see a psychologist who really helped me because he never pushed but he made me think. He made me see the things that I was doing and helped me to change them.

    I'm so sorry you are going through this rough time. I remember going through my rough time. I cried a lot. I was angry at God and the world. I was angry at the doctors and my parents. Then one day I just learned that I can change this. I make myself sad and angry. I need to fix this it isn't working anymore! Good luck!
  • MS_Navigators

    I am sorry that you are struggling right now, but I'm glad that you are reaching out. Our MS Navigators are available from 7a.m. – 5p.m MT. Call us at 1-800-344-4867 or email

    We also have a lot of information available for people who have been recently diagnosed. Knowledge Is Power is a 116-page guide for anyone facing a new diagnosis of MS, presented in a series of topics to help people adapt and live well with MS (includes personal stories and professional resources). Click here to access the information.

    MS Navigator Stephanie
  • justdiagnosed
    Thanks for the reply’s folks Amm yea when I was in hospital I was like ok so I’ll have to be positive etc but as soon as I was out it just fell off a cliff I’ve drank like 3 out of the last 4 days basically sitting here having mild panick attacks about what I’ve got now And staring blankly at the Netflix menu until I decide to go around it for another hour and not find anything to watch yea I was living down the country going to college as a mature student studying computer forensics I’ve since stopped that and moved back to Dublin I’ve got until September to decide if I’m going back it will basically come down to if these symptoms go away at the moment it would be a pain in the arse to do 9-5 in college 
  • maria1
    If you eliminate expectations from your vocabulary and life you will find things much easier. If you expect to wake in the a.m. and your eyes to open and you can see and they dont you will be disappointed.. If you expect to wake and be able to walk, you will be disappointed. If you expect anything you will be very disappointed. Wake and wait and see what the day brings, you may not like what you got but you wont be disappointed and it will be much easier to function. 

    Between now and September you need to come up with a plan on how to........
    Each day you get to decide what needs the most attention, your mental, physical or emotional self. Some days you body will need rest, so do something for your mind, some days your emotional self needs the most, so hug yourself and give yourself a gift. Life with ms is just a challenge, ms is challenging you to be the best yoou can be inspite of the limits ms is hitting you with today. It is like digging for buried treasure, you got to wade through the dirt to find the treasure. 

    Have the plan to always be nice to you and you will win the prize, treasure, success, happiness and everything else you want. You can do it, it will take time and it will take practice and it will take you learning always to be kind to you. So there, no excuse, you got a recipe to cook with.
  • justdiagnosed
    Fairly zen like to be able to not wake up expecting to see or walk though
  • maria1
    Do you like disappointment, if you expect nothing you will not experience disappointment, let it be a surprise, one you in fact may not like, but at least you wont be disappointed, that only adds to the bummer. Less bum is better.
  • sherpa_doug
    Maria, I really agree with you on this. Ive found some of the comparisons to a “normal” life can be rough, but also the anticipation of something bad happening is also quite terrible.

    I’m not quite zen about it with my MS diagnosis, since I’m just a couple of months fresh, but I feel like I’ve gone down this path before.

    I had my first tonic clonic seizure two years ago and it’s pretty similar. Nobody can tell me if seizures are connected to the MS, but I’ve stopped expecting an answer, just like I no longer think ‘what if I didn’t have these challenges’. It’s helped me a lot and I hope it helps others too!
  • sydney8687
    Hi, do not worrie about finding someone that will run away.  If they do then you it wasn’t meant to be. Think of it like this, you have a built in test of love. You will find someone who loves you and you with MS. To them it will be apart of you and they will love that part as and have a great day.
  • maria1
    Hi just.... how are you?