I would like to talk to adults (50s) that have suffered big (life) losses due to MS. Quitting my job has been especially painful. Walking is but a distant memory... I'm beyond annoyed. I am not trying to be rude, but I don't want to hear it's God's plan, everything happens for a reason, etc. Let's just be mad and say outloud - MS SUCKS!!
Hi meta... what do you want to talk about, wanna hear all my losses, wanna hear how I deal with loss, wanna hear about what I replace the losses with, wanna hear about the anger and how I deal with/dealth with it, or do you wanna hear how i get mad and express being mad, or all of the above or how to move on, or how to make up a new life. Missing life? Is that like missing a tooth ache, or is there some resentment mixed in with the mess. Chaos is a mix up of a lot of stuff, in my book, it is evil, it is a lack of harmony, harmony is good. Expressing feelings is good, it brings harmony. We are allowed to feel, the more we feel the more we are alive, even the worst feels are better than being numb. Being afraid to feel is the same as being afraid of being alive.
Missing life? or missing your image of what life is? they are two different statements. Psychic Pain is as real as any other pain but it is controllable, unlike the others it is one we manufacture ourselves, one we add to the pile, one WE put on top, the one that doesnt need to be there, the one we can avoid and eliminate, all we gotta do is want to, letting go of the image of what we want and accepting what is, what we cannot change what we can adapt to.
Missing life in the context you present, to me means, that we had something and now it is gone, we know what it was like to love and lose, that pain never goes away, the emptiness of the greatest love, the greatest joy, the greatest pleasure, the greatest void. The only way to prevent that is to celebrate the pleasure, of the love that was there, remember the pleasure, remember the joy, remember the happiness, remember the good times, celebrate the beauty that was there, hug the memory, fill the heart and the soul and whatever you may call it, with all the beauty that it was. Not to cry that it is gone but to celebrate that it once was. Everything passes, not grabbing it when it is there is the true loss, not having it when it is there. Yes, the extraordinary pain or as I prefer to say, the exquisite pain of the loss is so great that the desire to annihilate anything and everthing left standing in its wake is so powerful that nothing else will take its place, the ultimate destruction - the selfish need to lash out and punish existence for still being here kinda pain only feeds upon itself rolling into a fireball of destruction. And all that does is wipe out anything worth celebrating about what was. As i have just done. I shared the exquisite beauty of a love that was so grand a joy so beautiful a pleasure so one and only and then proceeded to wipe it out with words to describe the loss, when the feeling of what was, is and was so far more wonderful. Celebrating what was, is for me, far more satisfactory than suffering through what is gone. The half full glass satisfies, while the half empty glass eliminates the satisfaction. So watta you wanna talk about?
Well Maria1 you once again have managed to put into word’s so elegantly the way I feel and see my life today. As you know I have never given into the idea of giving up and I don’t think I ever will but there are times I feel that I know longer have that choice.
I feel that my life as changed over the last few year’s, and not at all for the better and yes I get at times so angry that I really don’t know what to do but then a new day starts and the sun comes out and there it is(the chance to live again) and you know what; I’ll take it know matter what.
So al I can say to any one out there that is trying to find the way around this thing called P.P.M.S., good luck, I don’t think there is one!!!
Please read the response form Maria1, it is vary well written and so to the point, I myself added a comment to her post and I would say the same to here but as you probably know already know, finding the energy to that is more then I muster up right now,
MS sucks. I don't like to hear those statement either I feel its a way to minimize what we are going through. My family is notorious for saying its all meant to be it's God's plan. I want to tell them to suck it. Excuse me for that one. I really want to say well my God would nevery put anyone through anything like this. I don't think it is him actually at all. They get all upset. Anyway I'm sorry your having issues.
When I was like 23 I was forced to quite a job and didn't work for 11 months. I couldn't even walk it was terrible. I went through physican and occupational therapy and was so lucky at all the help I got. I now work full time and am doing great. MS still sucks. I can feel it all the time whether others can see it or not. I wish you the best of luck!