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  • maria1
    Can you describe EXACTLY what you are feeling today and what your feelings are focused around, can you admit you have feelings, can you parallel todays feeling to some time in your past when you had a similar experience. Does it mean anything to you today? 
  • beaurylancambria
    Today I feel scared. Terrified actually. Even though I have MS, i really don't have a medical history. No surgeries, no broken bones, no meds. I currently have pneumonia. I couldn't breath. I called my husband and said " I need you ". We went straight to urgent care. That was 6 days ago. Despite the antibiotics, steroids, breathing treatments, inhaler and cough medicine, I don't feel like it's getting much better. The fact that I'm taking all those meds, should tell you how scared I am. I also feel vulnerable. I can usually tell myself I'm fine, and then I prove it. This is different. I got so winded yesterday, by doing practically nothing, it made me question myself. Maybe I'm not as tough as I think I am. The fact that everyone I have talked to, knows someone who has died from pneumonia also isn't helping. Maybe I'm not invincible.
  • maria1
    beau, thank you for sharing. It is nice to ask a question and have it answered,
    Sorry to hear you got pneumonia, it seems to be going around[like hearing that should make you feel better]. Have you begun something, yoghurt, fermented vegetables or probiotics, to put the good bacteria back into your body? The hospital closest to us is 35 miles is filthy so it was no surprise to us that our friend who was there with pneumonia came home with cd(duh, no one noticed while he was there?) and would up back there again, only now have they fixed him.  He didnt die from pneumonia, and he has copd.

    Well, you may be as tough as you think you are, just the germ is a little tougher, or the timing was right. Please, don't begin to doubt yourself now, you have come this far, and living with ms is no easy feat, and without drugs, so by my book, you are one tought cookie.

    Speaking of tough cookies: on youtube is Dancing Nana I and III, she is 88 and what may be known as a pistol(whatever that means). In I she dances, in III she sings, she should cheer you up a bit, she is impressive. You know I am not a prayer, but you do ahve my best wishes for a speedy recovery. maria
  • bubbadog66
    Sending positive vibes your way for relief sooner than later! I can totally relate!! UGH...powerlessness....grrr 
  • capitolcarol
    So sorry to hear that you are not doing well now.  I'm sending prayers your way and hope that you get better soon.
  • cjtmn
    The feeling of not being able to breathe well is terrifying under any circumstances. I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope it turns around soon for you.
  • beaurylancambria
    Thanks Maria! 
  • beaurylancambria
    Thank you bubbadog and capitolcarol! I am feeling much better. Pneumonia is no joke, but it has helped me to put in perspective what is a big deal and what's not. Thanks again for your kind words
  • maria1
    Sad, disappointed, unhappy, blue. One cousin who has ms is five years older, she can no longer take care of herself and has moved her stuff into an assisted living facility that she will move into today. And already her apartment has been burgled. She is moving somewhere to feel safe, so she wont have to call 911 when she falls and her children wont have to worry about her all day long.

    I am putting myself in her shoes as I am getting closer to her circumstances. It seemed reasonable to move to smaller quarters with less privacy not as fine as where I am liviing now, and the illusion is now destroyed. So, of course i know better, I guess I was just dreaming for a while, that things were going to be better. It is just trading one problem or issue for another. 

    Reality is what we perceive it to be, not really what it is. Back to a time when I was powerless, had no control, was at the effect of other persons, get to relive that experience again, ugh, the golden years, like greenland, which is not green. Frustrated! thinking about making a better life for myself to only get back to where it was in the beginning, going full circle, double ugh. And having to live with it that way. To make the best of it, I guess if the food is okay ... 

    One thing I have learned from my cousins experience is to get rid of everything that has any value before it is taken away. Turn it into money before it becomes a loss? or attach myself to little things that have no value only sentiment. 

    I am okay about it all, just voicing the future and talking through, perhaps a strategy that will make it all less painful, a preventative measure, though there is no guarantee it will be painless just less painful.