Been married to my spouse a little over a year known him for thirteen years. My previous relationship was as abusive. Which caused my self and my two kids some problems my son has PTSD and ADHD and medical needs. My daughter has similar issues I have been busy dealing with all their needs and my MS which has caused me to feel really sick lately vision and horrible pain in my legs. I also have the MS hug constantly with all of my daily challenges my husband is feeling neglected. At the end of the day I am so exhausted from the kids and my own stuff that I have little left to give my husband or myself. The biggest problem like lately is that he has been accusing me of putting everyone in front of him and his needs. I barely have time to do anything besides take care of my kids. It feels like I am on my own he never takes the kids so I can get a break but expects me to have all the energy in the world to spend time with him after the kids are asleep. He feels neglected and so do I on the emotional and physical side. We haven't been on a date in six months. I feel like I am alone except for financially he helps with bills. Other than that it all falls on me, I have talked to him about my feelings and he says he will help but it never last. I am not happy and it shows my friends see it. The problem is to that before we got married it was different he helped me with the housework and the kids now it's like I am ok n my own.Has anyone else dealt with this if do how did you overcome the challenges of balancing it all.
This is Steve with the National MS Society. I'm sorry to hear you and your husband are struggling. I wanted to provide you the following link, which will take you to a work book for couples that are managing MS. I also wanted to encourage you to give us a call at 1-800-344-4867 should you be interested in exploring further support options (support groups, professional counseling, peer support, etc). Please do not hesitate to give us a call.
msandme, I am not in the same boat as you and have no reference to what you might be going through, but I did have some thoughts on the subject. Do your children respond to music? Complex music usually creeps into my mind even if I dont want it to. Maybe some Brahm's Lullabies may be soothing and distracting for them, as well as you, to be peaceful and help conserve energies. Music without words, some symphonies around the house with plenty of instruments.
Consider, if possible, to begin your day with your spouse instead of trying to end the day with him when there is nothing left. Earyy morning warmth will last the whole day before the engines run dry.