my adult child has MS. We aren’t geographically close, but do communicate regularly by phone and social media. I struggle with how to support her when I talk to her and she hasn’t slept well in days because of severe pain in her legs. She is on some pain meds, but she says they are of little help. She is also struggling with financial independence as she will soon be cutting back on her work hours. I just want to help, but don’t know how when she calls me in tears.
Hi there. Would it help to connect with other parents or family members affected by MS at a local support group? Or perhaps a counselor.
Sometimes it helps to ask what the person needs from you. Everyone is different, and this can be a direct way to let her know you're here and want to help, but also want to know what 'help' means to her.
We have a support group search tool on our website if you are interested in checking that out: https://www.nationalmssociety.org/Resources-Support/Find-Support/Join-a-Local-Support-Group
I'm glad you've posted and hope others will share what has worked for them!
MS Navigator Carla
I'm not in your shoes. I have MS myself and navigate life with my own wife, kids, family & friends with this challenge who do not have MS, only i do.
I do know for myself that like the MS Navigator said when i'm a "hot mess" i find it handy when i'm point blank asked, "What help (assistance) do you need from me today?"... many times i don't have a clue but being asked that question can possibly help slow me down enough to figure it out.
I have several "shoulders i cry on" and appreciate their involvement in that way when my moment isn't going too graceful. I second guess the sincerity of those relationships when my actions and need to vent just leave them speechless and seemingly unengaged. I never expect any of my natural supports without MS themselves to have solutions or words to "fix" this for me.
Just knowing i am loved warts and all is usually enough to ease my pain ever so slightly. Unfortunately relationships aren't an exact science and there ain't no instruction manual.
Thanks for your post.
Thank you. That gave me something to think about from a different perspective. I wish you the best.
Deep breathing exercises and muscle relaxing exercises( tighten a muscle, hold it for 5 sec. let go. repeat) Both exercises will aid in removing toxins while bringing nourishment to all the cells. We dont realize how much stress we ad by tensing up instead of relaxing.