Well, embarassing this is... but here we go. I have PPMS and as such, my bowels do not function like they should. Normally I'm constipated but when I do have to go, get out of my way because I don't have the muscle control to stop it. So there is the back story.
My wife and I went on vacation a while back with her sister and one night, I decided to go to a sports bar to watch my team's game. I found a place that was right up my alley with just a bunch of dudes hanging out watching sports. Good beer, good food, and big TV's. My wife and sister in law came with me but I had brought my bike to ride back to the condo because they weren't going to stay for the whole game.
They had left and it was starting to get into the later innings of the game when my stomach started to get a little upset. I brushed it off and kept watching the game. I started noticing the place was starting to get more people, which was weird to me, because most of the games were almost over. It happened all of a sudden. I was sitting and bam, I had to go and if I got up out of my seat, I was going to poop my pants...
Naturally you don't want this to happen when there is a bunch of people around. So, I sat there and waited for the people to leave after the games were over while squeezing my buttcheaks as tight as possible! Only, more and more poeple were showing up. I was like" What is going on?" and than I look at the crowd (I had been focused on the game) and noticed it was no longer a bunch of dudes, but instead a bunch of young college aged kids filling this place. I started to become worried.
They started moving stuff around when the games ended and a DJ set up in the corner. I was like "oh no". The place was changing from sports bar to night club and I was sitting there squirming in a lot of discomfort. It got to the point to where the place was packed and I was even hit on by a few girls and I was like "if they only knew".
My body had decided it was not going to wait any longer, I had to make a mad dash to the bathroom. As soon as I stood up, sure enough, I pooped my pants. I made the mad dash to the bathroom where some unspeakable things happened. I was just sooooo glad there wasn't another guy in the stall because this place only had one stall. I finished and cleaned myself up best as possible. It was such a small bathroom and as I exited the stall and did the "walk of shame" for the smell I had caused, one of the college guys said "man bro! you blew this place up!" but I just smiled washed my hands and got out of there. I then ran outside to my... bike. Yes, I had to ride my bike back to the condo after I had pooped my pants.
So, you wanted a funny story, there is one at my expense! Hope it made you laugh.