MS Connection Blog


My First 270 Days

Blog Summary

As I sat home with that broken foot and yet another pair of crutches, I came to the hideous realization that even after my foot healed, I needed to use a cane. My doctors had been warning me for years about the risks I took by walking without assistance, but I had stubbornly refused to accept that I needed help.

My fear of serious injury became terrifyingly real, and my MS became present in my day-to-day life in a way it never had before. I was suffocated by my disease. I was bewildered by its oppression on my daily routine and its control of my thoughts. And, for the first time, I was blinded by the burden of my potential demise from MS. A lifetime of lies caught up with me as I was forced to accept the reality that MS was part of not just my life, but the life of everyone with whom I interacted. I could think of nothing more abhorrent. I had no choice but to tell the truth...

MS’ 9,585 Days

Blog Summary

MS used to have me. For a quarter of a century, I went to extraordinary lengths to hide my MS from everyone but my very closest family and friends. I thought that by hiding my MS and lying about the source of my ever changing ailments, I was in control of it. I did not make my peace with MS and come to a gradual and gentle acceptance of my illness. I didn’t even make the choice to tell people when the disease backed me into a corner.  I thought my world was going to fall apart if I shared my diagnosis. I was sure I would lose my identity, that my strength would evaporate along with my self-esteem, and that people would no longer see me. They would see only a diseased, weak, helpless individual. So I lied...