Fatigue has been a huge issue for me recently. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I attend my usual MS aquatics class, but this particular day fatigue had me in a bad way. So instead, I opted to go to the gym and walk on the treadmill. I clutch the bars for balance and creep along at 0.5 mph.
The goal for today was 10 minutes. Just 10 lousy minutes! That’s what I usually do on good days. What made me think I could go today even though I was too tired to go to the pool? I don’t know … Was it denial? Wishful thinking?
Six minutes into my walk, I saw Tommy, my husband, get up and stand closer to me. I thought to myself, “I must be dragging my feet. Nicole, pick them up. Pick them up.” At seven minutes, I could feel myself winded, sweating, and my heart rate was through the roof. I’m still only going O.5 mph!
I made a very smart move. I pressed stop. I thought a break was called for. I guess hubby thought I was finished. Nope. I caught my breath and started again. The machine started at 0.3 mph. Yeah! Then it climbed back up to 0.5. Shoot!
I needed to believe, “I can do this!”
Then I took another step. My left foot didn’t clear the tread. In turn, I tripped and that was the end of my workout. Eight minutes!
I just want to walk again and in my delusion, this exercise was key to making that happen. Folks, I know you know multiple sclerosis doesn’t work like that. I do, too. But still, I lowered my head in defeat once again and muttered to my husband, “I couldn’t make 10 minutes.”
He smiled and said, “It’s only a number.”
Learn more about fatigue here.