Serenity Now

“Serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance.” ~Unknown

I came across this quote at such a crucial juncture on my MS-laden journey. Before then I had no direction and I was not sure where my life was headed. MS overshadowed me. It has led me to inconceivable places and situations.
But that simple sentence helped me to redirect my course. I realize now that acceptance is something that I’ll be doing over and over again. Like steadily peeling off the layers of an onion.
But even with over a decade of experience sometimes I find myself going off course. Once I realize what is happening I try to get back on track. I have to overcome my childish demeanor, which is usually fueled by anger and sadness. Unfortunately this behavior steers me miles away from the island of acceptance I am continuously headed toward.
In my consistent search for serenity I’ve learned it’s not a stagnate place. It’s forever eluding me, yet sometimes I can be standing right in its midst. Yes, I thought I owned it. I thought I was there, but I looked around and no longer recognized myself.
Serenity is a state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled. Almost the total opposite of what I’ve been living due to my unwanted companion. How can I accept this? Why should I embrace this life?
Because it’s the only one I have.
I can’t trade it in. At my lowest point if I need to rest, then indeed I shall stop and rest. In fact, if I can be proactive and not let it get to that point that would be even better! What I know for sure is that I’m drifting closer to that oasis called serenity, closer yet again to acceptance of what is. No matter how different it may be from what I want or planned for!

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