Bachelorette Time!

Weekends away with the girls is an experience like no other. Especially when one of your friends is getting married!
The girls are invited, everything has been planned you've FINALLY got everything sorted and paid up—it's time to start counting down the days to the bachelorette party!

But what happens when you are invisibly disabled and are worried about spending the weekend with people you may not know?
If you're like me, you'll be asking yourself things like “will my MS hold out all weekend?” Will they understand when I don't want to drink? Will the other girls make fun of me for needing a “nanna nap” in the afternoon?
Here are some tips I learnt recently when I organized my best friend’s bachelorette party!
1. Be humorous.
We chose a nice English town where we could do a lot in the town, so we didn’t have to walk too far or travel anywhere when we were there. We chose a very nice, 4-story town house Airbnb that would sleep us all comfortably.
On the drive down while we were discussing the rooms, I mentioned—as humorously as I could—that I call shot gun on the first-floor bedroom because I can't handle stairs. I’ve found that if you say your concern humorously around people who don’t understand MS, it's a lot easier for people to understand.
2. Don't drive.
As someone with MS, if you're going away anywhere, it's best to not drive. Let the others drive and save your energy for getting through the weekend. The girls on our bachelorette party were really understanding about the fact I didn't want to drive—it made a huge difference to me, and I was able to enjoy the weekend with minimal symptoms.
3. If you’re comfortable, be honest about your health.
Talk about your illness with the others and what it might mean for them during the weekend. It helps others to understand what you're going through that they might not be able to see. They have probably never heard of your illness and therefore don’t know how it affects you day to day.
I asked our driver if she would mind parking in a disabled parking lot space and explained I had a permit and how it would help me. The ladies were more than happy to help, and one of them even carried my bag for me to the house because she saw me struggling with it. I normally feel awkward when someone does that, but she made me feel at ease—luckily, she was a nurse, so she was a kind and caring sort of gal! It was lovely, and we all got on so well. If you're struggling—tell someone, there is no shame in asking for help when you need it. That is definitely something I have learnt to do this year.
4. Be yourself.
Relax and have fun. Appreciate the opportunity to spend time with people you wouldn't normally get the chance to spend time with. If you don't normally drink, don't feel pressured into it just because it's a ‘bachelorette’ party and social convention says you should. I much prefer breaking the rules and having a coffee in a bar instead of beer.
5. Choose 'low energy' activities during the weekend.
Our first night was a “board game and takeout” kinda night, which was great and super low energy. The next day was exploring the town and then going to a comedy club at night. We spent our final day in a posh rooftop spa which overlooked the whole of bath, relaxing and reminiscing about the weekend we experienced. It was beautiful.
In England, it is becoming more and more of a 'thing' to spend time in a spa on a bachelorette weekend and I have to say it was the most amazing place I’ve ever been. It even had an infrared sauna which temporarily took most of my MS symptoms away—heaven!
What tips have you found for going on a bachelorette (or any!) party? Comment below and share!
Tags Healthy Living      2 Appreciate this
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Jessie Ace

Being diagnosed at 22 at the start of her career was hard, but Jess found it in herself to turn things around and use MS as a tool to give people new help and inspiration. She has now made it her life's mission to improve the lives of young people through The Disabled to Enabled podcast, through the Enabled Warriors' Facebook group and her ENabled Warriors Etsy store.

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  • Avatar
    bjbecker43  Jun 20, 2019 9:03 PM
    This was a lovely read. It isn't only good for the girl time, but for any time. A girlfriend wants to meet between her place in MI and mine in FL. I cannot get her to understand that I can't drive all day.....maybe not at all. I need rest even if someone else is driving. This is a very good "to do for me" list.
  • Elisa   Jun 23, 2019 6:54 AM
    I really enjoyed your illustrations in the momentum magazine. I am in the middle of a very long relapse and cannot feel Any of my limbs. It’s been over six months and I see that you eventually recovered The use of your hands. I am curious about how long it took and what is it a gradual process?
  • Avatar
    mariserinkel  Jun 28, 2019 10:42 AM
    I love your illustrative art work!
  • Avatar
    jessieaceofficial  Jul 6, 2019 1:20 AM
    Elisa, it took around 6 months for my left side to come back completely. Your relapse is most likely not for forever. As weird as it seems, enjoy it, use it to remind yourself to be more grateful for your body when it does come back. Use it to fuel your passion. Use it to remind yourself in stressful situations that most things in life that stress us aren’t as big as we think, there is something else bigger. Please feel free to email me whenever you need a friend
  • Cori M.   Sep 1, 2019 2:57 AM
    Thank you Jessie for your insight! Next month, it will be MY bachelorette party and I am so grateful for my friends who have been there for me since prior to my diagnosis. When I requested to not drive, it was no big deal. When I wanted to have a room with a private bathroom, no problem. When I warned them that I won't drink much, but will document their shenanigans, they were more worried about themselves than me! Thank you again for shining a light!