Not How it's Always Been

At work, have you ever asked why something is the way it is, and you’re told:

“I don’t know… that’s just how it’s always been done.”

Even just typing that, I start to break into a cold sweat...

I never want to do something because that’s the way it’s always been done. It’s not that I want to be contrarian; rather, for me, it is more important to understand the reason behind the why.

The last place I worked was a large Fortune 500 company. The scope and size of their business was a big reason I wanted to work there. Within a few years, I was fortunate to move into Finance and then a couple years later, Product Management.

Within each new role though, I was met with many “that’s just how it’s always been done” responses.

And each time I took that as a challenge. I’d wonder: 

Why? 

And is there a better way?

Sometimes, there actually was a valid reason why but for others, I aimed to design a new or more efficient path. I wanted to make a difference; add value.

Add value. That may sound silly. I wasn’t a doctor, teacher or firefighter. I didn’t run into burning buildings to save lives; most of my days were spent in the cozy confines of a climate-controlled office studying financials or evaluating a marketing strategy.

But I believed in the company’s mission and wanted to provide my best effort, no matter how small the task.

I aspired to leave my mark. 

In my view, if I was going to be spending countless hours away from my family, I might as well do it right and make it awesome. Otherwise, what’s the point?

In 2011, my life took a major detour when I medically retired and left the professional workforce.
It’s been seven years, and I’m still trying to find my footing on this new path. One thing has become abundantly clear, though, adding value and making a difference is hard to do when you have multiple sclerosis. 

Sometimes, it seems like my new career is filling out medical forms, scheduling doctor appointments, taking medical tests and coordinating with insurance companies. And that’s while coping with the laundry list of physical, mental and emotional symptoms that arise with MS. The cycle feels endless.

This is never how I envisioned my future. 

How do I continue to feel like I’m adding value?

Unlike with my office job, I haven’t been able to automate or reengineer my MS. 

But still, I view it as another challenge.

Why?
Is there a better way?


Living with MS, I’ve had to look for silver linings.

Lack of energy, brain fog, foot drop and shooting pains don’t mix well with being an engaged father of two very active children. But neither do late nights at the office or business trips away from home.

It’s a blessing to be around more, helping with their math homework, telling stories of my youth, Dad jokes, all while hopefully forming a richer bond that might not have been possible otherwise.

If it wasn’t for MS, I would have never started baking and all the joy that has accompanied it. My wife and kiddos get excited each year requesting their homemade “Daddy” birthday cakes. We started a new tradition for Thanksgiving called Pie-a-palooza where I bake a variety of pies and everyone votes on their favorite. 

At Christmas, I’ve been able to replicate some of my grandma’s old cookie recipes. Overall, I’ve created many treasured memories through baking.

To challenge my mind, I started doing jigsaw puzzles – filling the vacuum left by not working – and quickly became hooked. Picturesque views, Vincent Van Gogh landscapes, DaVinci’s The Last Supper, U.S. Presidents, favorite football stadiums and even a puzzle of delicious donuts. I’ve completed dozens and several special ones are framed and decorate our house. 

I also would have never began writing if I wasn’t diagnosed with MS.

When I learned I had MS, I was terrified of having the same diagnosis conversation with friends and family about the who, what, where, when and why of MS. 

Instead, I decided to write about my diagnosis and was pleasantly surprised to discover the passion I had for storytelling. That’s how it started. From there it has blossomed into a new chapter of my life and a new challenge that I embrace – increasing awareness and understanding of MS, one word at a time…

This new road is not easy. With MS, I never know what each new day will bring or what my future might hold. But I’ll keep searching for that better way and hope that I’m continuing to add value on my life less traveled.
 
1 Appreciate this
| Reply
Michael

Michael Wentink, Blogger

In 2008, Michael Wentink was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. At 31, he was a new father, a recent MBA graduate and a Director at a Fortune 500 company. MS altered this path and after an early retirement, Michael is now navigating life on a road less traveled. A native of Northern Virginia, Michael currently resides in San Antonio, Texas with his wife and two young children. Read about his journey with multiple sclerosis at mjwentink.com and follow him on Twitter.

Leave a Comment

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with the MSconnection.org community. Please note comments are moderated.

    1 Comments

  • Margaret Chavez   Nov 28, 2018 12:28 PM
    Michael,
    I just read your article above and understand your frustration. I suppose all of us with MS have felt the same way from time to time. But you are so right about finding new creative and useful ways to be.

    I'm not too good at computers but I will look at your blog.

    Margaret Chavez
    Graeagle CAi