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  • Dav3o

    Just wondering if others have issues with emotional stability. Historically from my point of view, I have always been pretty even keeled. It would take a lot to get me upset to the point where I physically raise my voice and get frustrated. I had pretty strong patients for others. However, last night was another example where wife & I got into it over something pretty dumb in hind site, and this is becoming a common for me. It seem like I struggle much much more keeping level on this front. The lamest part is it’s my family that gets the brunt of this, and saddens me that I feel like I am pushing them away, the ones I need most. So I dunno if it’s MS causing physical changes in my emotional state, and well me. OR if its simply the fact that I am just more on edge dealing with life and what MS poses on life that just makes it hard to deal with it all. I talked with my phycologist as I have been dealing with this now over the past year. She didn’t seem to concerned unless you get to the point where you are crying when you should be laughing etc. but just wanted to hear if others feel similar to me, and how do you deal with it. I don’t have good strategies that work for me.

     
    ​Thanks,
    -Dave
  • cjtmn
    Hi Dave,

    I'm a little surprised at your psychologists response. I think she is looking at a specific condition where you really cannot control any outburst of emotion (I forget what that's called), which is different than what you are describing. Have you asked her for strategies for controlling anger?

    Here are a few things that have worked for me:

    1. When you are not emotional, talk with your family and create some signal to stop the conversation if it's getting heated. Once you've had time to calm down & think things through, revisit the topic.

    2. I find I really don't do well without time to think things through -- changes in plans really send me over the edge now. Maybe consider having a personal mantra that you can repeat in your head to calm you down. Sometimes I just try really deep breathing and repeat "this is no big deal, this is no big deal" in my head. I know it seems weird, but it does actually help.

    3. I have trouble when lots of people are talking at me all at once. I find I have to very specifically ask them to speak 1 at a time. And trying to have a conversation with other noise in the background? (e.g., TV, radio, CDs, etc) Forget it!! I have to either remove myself to have the conversation in quiet or ask to have the conversation another time.

    4. If possible, ask your family for a heads up when it comes to decision-making. If they can let you know they want to discuss something ahead of time, you have time to process and know how you want to respond. That really helps me, too.

    I don't know if any of these suggestions are helpful for you...

    Cheryl
  • Dav3o
    The Physologist did give me similar thoughs as you mentioned, but she did seem to dismiss it more as normal, but just isn't normal for me. Your points are something I am trying to work on, but REALLY hard for me to do, espeically since this type of reaction is sooo new to me 8-(. Keep trying !!!

    The worst part, is I am a person who wears "emotions" on their sleaves. I have a really hard time just walking away without my thoughts utterly consuming me. Historically it's always been talk it through right then. But to your points, I need to start changing how I deal with emotions, and walk away, just soo not my norm :(. Last big fight we had, I did just stop, and come back. The unfortuniate point is it just spun me into being angry for several hours, then just depressed about the entire situation, my reaction, why I felt that way, for the rest of the day. I litterally had to be by myself. Took a good few days to feel OK about it all again, and in hindsite the entire thing was just so trivial it was dumb...it was all litterally over me not putting vitams away that were sitting on top of the dehydrator, and running the dehydrator thus melting and ruining the vitiams. It was like 2.00 bottle of kids gummy vitimns...  

    OHHH also, do others seem to cry more easily? Like I have a really hard time watching kids movies with out crying. Hell I took a CPR class and had to wipe away tears during the video. I was super glad the movie theater was dark for Dori.... sigh....


    Thanks,
    -Dave
  • cjtmn
    I totally understand. I'm also finding it comes in waves. So either I'm adjusting to this new emotional "normal" or it isn't always present. Of course as a middle-aged woman, the question for me is always if it's hormones....and who the heck knows??? I just know it's gotten worse, I don't like lashing out at my family, and I hate that I dwell on my poor behavioral choices and sulk. This is not the person I want to be!

    So, I'm trying new strategies - sometimes they work, and sometimes they don't. Mostly I'm trying to pull out of myself a bit more and recognize the patterns so I can anticipate when it's going to affect me the most. I also found a therapist over a year ago that is wonderful. Talk therapy has helped me immensely. I was not prepared for the emotional toll of this disease at all.

    Keep coming here and "talking." This site is a wonderful way to get your honest, unfiltered feelings out into the open - and I can guarantee that at least 1 other person here will be able to relate :)

    Hang in there. Your family loves you and it's worth working through this. You are worth the effort!

    Cheryl

    (And thank you to the person who mentioned pseudibular effect -- that was indeed what I was thinking of!)
  • Dav3o
    Totally get you on the waves. I also dunno why, but it does feel like I have months where there is no issues and I feel my normal self, then I have months where it seems like a constantly stuggle to emotionally be my norm. Maybe flare up?... dunno.
     
    ​Anyways, thanks for all the input.
    -Dave
  • maria1
    Cheryl is in good thinking order, she is so logical and clear, it is nice  to know she is here and speaking.  

    ?? how can you expect to be emotionally stable when everything is unstable? Sharing with your wife about what you are thinking may help relieve some of the tensions, but you both are travelling in uncharted waters. Holding hands when you have quiet time together reinforces the romance. The words may be strange but the emotion between two persons is always true. Yes, things will be weird sometimes, but when they are not is when it is important. Cherish those moments, acknowledge the partnership, find the words then, to speak what is in your heart, it will be those moments that will hold the bond. 

    For the strange moments: who said that? be as surprised about the strange behaviour as she is, it is not who you are, just a temporary glitch in the system, it will pass, you both need to know you are both loved until it does.

    Write her a poem, roses are red, monkeyes are blue, if they were going through this without you. Thank you for being here, it would be a lonely journey without you. Thanks for being a pal. When I forget why i am happy, i see you and remember. 
  • levo12
    Dave -

    I think the psych and your poster (cjtmn) may be referring to something called the "pseudobulbar affect".  Let me check my spelling on that!  I am sure you can find a lot written about it on the internet.  From what I remember pseudobulbar a. is neurological and not a psych issue.

    Hope you are doing OK. 
  • connief59
    Wow!  My personality has changed and I mentioned it to my neurologists nurse that I see in between visits with the neuro.  I told her that suddenly I feel like my fuse is just so short. I'm short of patience, which I've never been, etc.  She said "Really?!" Like she had never heard this before.  I dropped it.  Feeling crazy enough as it is.  Thanks for sharing this!!
  • beaurylancambria
    What your fighting about is never the real issue. I use the same thought process everytime. You can fight about it,  let it go or you can leave. For example your fight was about melting vitamins. Obviously not major enough to leave. Fighting about it wasnt going to bring them back, so your left with letting it go. Yes you made a mistake and yes she overreacted and in the end you both were probably more miserable than when it started. When emotions arent so present, I would say " I made a mistake and I am sorry but I think we both could have handled that better". Accepting your part in the argument will make it easier for her to accept hers. I am not a professional, but I have been married for 32 years. To quote my mother " And still to the original "
  • levo12
    Dave -

    Just a quick question you can answer to yourself - no need for you to post an answer.

    Steroids -  Are you taking them now (or recently) for MS?  Steroids can help to significantly reduce some MS problems.  On the other hand they can also make people upset over the smallest thing.
  • maria1
    excellent point about steroids, their effects will last a year. fun.
  • TheBillLarson
    When I first experienced my optical neuritis they did the IV seroids and then the gradual weaning from Prednosone. Yeah, my fuse got real short and my patience was razor thin. I had no idea that the effects could last a year. It's only been five months. I'm still pretty short; not nearly as much as when I was actually on the steroids, but still. Now I know why. I still have some seven months to go, assuming nothing flairs up requiring more steroids.

    Thanks for the info, Maria. I had no idea, but it explains a lot!
  • Dav3o

    I have came off a 3day run of IV steroids in beginning of may, and ay current pace end up doing a run about once a year. Depending on symptoms next time I might chose not doing it, as coming off them is terrible, and they didn't do much for me last round.

    I haven't found anything online talking much about the half life of IV steroids. A year plus seem extremely long to me but I am far from knowledgeable about it.

    ​it would explain alot for sure if it really messes with you for that long.

    Thanks,
    -Dave

  • levo12
    Criminy, Maria!!!  A year for the steroids to wear off?!?!   I had no idea - but that could explain a lot.

    I had a round of oral steroids back in February/March this year (because of MS relapse eye problems) and daily I am still sloughing off skin from my mouth.  Of couse, I still have the eye problems!
  • levo12
    Dave - 

    I had IV and oral steroids in the hospital and another round of oral steroids early this year.  Yep!  I can see how they can affect the emotions.  They use the term "roid rage" for good reason.

    I am sure your family will more than understand it is not you, but the meds.  

    Have a good night!!