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  • myabonita
    Going from feeling fine to wham with no warning. Waist done numbness and tingling and then eventually pins and needing. Left foot no feeling. Landed in the ER and then admitted for 4 days. Really didn't know how to feel or what to think after this. Going from being able to walk okay to just alright was not what I was planning. I really don't want people at my job to notice only the people who actually know, it is difficult to try to hide it even more. So I try to avoid walking and standing. As if it was hard enough. Still not sure if I want to get a handicap sticker or placard because that will hurt my pride and self esteem but I feel I might have to give in. Being 35 years old in this condition sucks. I'm suppose to be in the prime of my life and now I felt like I just aged 50 more years old. I hope that this will go away soon so I could be back the way I was before the relapse. *sigh
  • bcarmichael82
    Having MS is nothing to be ashamed of, our bodies just behave different than other peoples!  It took me a long time to come to terms with my disease, and how it changed me - I learned that you just have to embrace it.  It's part of you, but don't let it define you or control you (I made that mistake for a LONG time).  Stress is bad for us, if you worry about what people think, that's just adding unneeded stress to your life!   My mom always told me "What do you care what those people think about you?  They don't pay your bills!"  So true, right?  Having a handicapped placard doesn't make you any less of a person, please don't be ashamed to utilize it - compromise on it, and just use on days you can't walk!  Park out far on days when you're feeling good :)
  • myabonita
    Thank you! You are so right I am getting use to it but not fully at that point yet. I try not to let it get to me but it can be frustrating. I'm sure I will come to terms with it one day. But I know the first steps are filling out the paperwork for it and giving it to the doctor on my next visit. So I might just have to do it because it's really hard to walk a distance. Thanks for the encouragement and take care if yourself too. Mya
  • bubbadog66
    I'm coming up on a year of being diagnosed in a couple days...the only good thing about that knowledge is now i know for sure it's NOT all in my head because it is all in my head, & spine....grrr. For me i find living by a few standards of thinking as i trudge this road one unpredictable moment at a time far from graceful is this.

    It is NONE of my business what people think about me.

    In having to make a choice it is always better to choose being happy over being right.

    No matter how you look at it MS sucks...the expectations, unrealistic expectations i have toward others as they do me...the hurry up and wait...the, but you look so goods....i can only be true to myself as i set boundaries of necessity due to extreme limitations i just cannot avoid or hard. Hate thinking and being told the coulda, woulda, shoulda where the timing of this MS "relapse" seem most inconvenient. Whew, too much wonder i'm anxious, depressed and fatigued.
  • myabonita
    I hate the shoulda, coulda, woulda too. It is an inconvenience to MS because of somethings you can't do for yourself. This is what frustrates me the most. This relapse have now have me thinking again about my future but the unpreditablity of this sucks cause you really can plan for the unknown. And even if you do plan it can still can go sideways. I broke down today and filled my application for the handicap placard. As much as I didn't want to do it it's the best thing for me to do. It's sad but can't do anything about it. Well we just have to keep pushing through no matter how hard it gets.
  • april9517
    That's almost exaclt what happened to me wheni was diagnosed- numbness and tingling and tripping over my feet, then a four day hospital stay right before my 22nd bday. It's hard for me seeing people my age running around, staying up late, having little cares in the world and I have a disease that makes me feel like I'm a cranky old woman. It's especially hard when nobody can tell im sick or feeling this way, and they look at me and say I'm young and energetic and have good eyes and go out and have fun and can run a marathon, and wait until you get to my age with creaky knees (all things Ive heard). You just have to take it one day at a time and laugh at things you can and dont be afraid to be angry. Don't be ashamed of having this-it is not a shameful thing to have. I believe we see things in a whole new way having this disease that others just cant even imagine. Hang in there-it gets better (or at least I'm hoping it does)
  • myabonita
    April9517 Thanks! I remember the days I could run and do everything. (Run) that would be nice😁 I know right now I feel like an old cranky lady. I'm hoping that it will get better well at least to what my "normal" is. It's hard but I keep pushing. I hope every thing is going well for you.
  • gabrielle519


    I am 29 and I have a handicap placard. I use it with pride. I can relate though  I used to be sicker it took a lot of fight to get back to a normal baseline. I can remember going to a restaurant and my mom had to walk me to the bathroom. People were staring. They thought I was drunk. That was a very embarassing for me the worst part was my mom said nothing. I wish she would have stood up for me. Now I tell everyone because I want people to know especially if I'm having a bad day. I hate the questions. Why are you limping? I tell my cancer patients when there hair falls out that is shows character. Thats what you should think it shows character that you deal with this everyday and you still go to work!


  • myabonita
    Gabrielle519 I haven't got that pride yet. But I'm trying to come to terms with it. Sorry that happened to you. I have had embarrassing moments too. I almost walk straight into someone looking like I was a zombie and the guy gave me this startled look like really. Maybe your mom didn't want to tell or make you feel even more embarrassed. I'm not sure but I am glad you have found your way of character especially at 29. I was diagnosed at 33 but I had signs at least 5 years prior that was but never crossed my mind if MS. No one in my family has it or even distant family so I had no clue. Keep being strong. I admire you and hope to be able to share with people one day that I have MS. -Myabonita