I'm one of those semi-rare males with MS, so go ahead and apply all of those male stereotypes about being focused on problem solving, etc. :)
But trust me when I say I know what you're going through. I was diagnosed at age 27, a breadwinner with 4 kids, 2 in grade school and 2 before school-age. The diagnosis is a mind warp, that's for sure. Traditional wisdom says it takes a person 2 years to fully wrap our head around it.
Is there another MSer out there like me?
Unfortunately, quite a few! :)
Or am I so pig headed that I’m ignoring myself?
I gather you haven't been officially diagnosed, true? If not, hope that it's not
MS. There are some other diseases/problems that can mimic MS, so let's hope it's one of those. If it's MS, then I'm sad to say welcome to our exclusive club.
I wrote a bit in my MS profile about the tactic I used for years of "hiding" and sort of pretending/ignoring the fact I had MS -- and the plusses and minuses of that strategy. (That "My MS Story" is a nightmare to read because the site makes it into one "wall" of text without my paragraph breaks. :(
I worry about what the heck they will medicate me with.
I know it's absurd and seemingly insensitive for me to say, but try not to worry -- seriously. Stress can exacerbate MS symptoms.
If you have MS (and again, I'm not sure you've been "officially" diagnosed) your neurologist (try to get a neurologist who has experience with MS; not all do) will likely want to put you on a "disease modifying therapy" drug (DMT). If you look for my post at the bottom of this thread/conversation
you'll find a lot of information about the different DMTs. Reading and watching some of those videos will likely help with some of the anxiety you're feeling. And the last link in that post -- the "I highly recommend them" link -- I'm willing to bet will help inform you and realize MS is not as scary as the initial diagnosis makes you think it is.
Will I be functional?
Sadly, no one can predict the course of your disease. It could be "easy" or it could be a "nightmare." There are some indicators based on the age you are diagnosed, the type of symptoms in that first diagnosis, the frequency of attacks -- those sorts of variables -- but even those kinds of analysis are a crap shoot and are not certain. It's a roll of the dice that no one can predict.
Since the above is reality
what can you do? Be happy and be healthy -- seriously, that's about all we can do. Like it or not, you just got a big push to set an example for your kids and to lead a healthy life.
Will it abuse my immune system (I have 3 kids and they get sick so not good)?
The basic strategy of DMT (most? all?) is to suppress the immune system. So yes, you'll want to avoid everything from cuts to colds. Also things like a flu shot you should pay attention to what kind of shot it is (that video link I mentioned will have advice about that). But don't worry, getting a cold while on an immuno-suppressant DMT is not a death sentence; it just means you'll have to pay more attention to your health and getting well.
Just venting to someone who might understand this situation
LOL -- 99.9% of us have been there. Trust me, when you stop ranting and crying and go through the various stages of grief (several times for me!:) you'll realize that crying is no fun and that life goes on, so you might as well smile and make the best of it.