I don't currently have MS...yet. My neurologist ordered an MRI earlier this year due to an increasing in frequency of my headaches. Surprise, surprise, there were lesions. :( They orderd a TON of blood work (most of it normal except my vitamin D and B12 levels), and a neck MRI (is it normal to just do the neck and not the whole spine?). That was clear. Doctor ordererd a spinal tap and it came back with postive signs of MS. Doctor said we can't diagnose you with that, because you're not having clinical symptoms, so we'll keep a very close eye on you.
Several months later, I had a follow up brain MRI. No new lesions. However, I had in the between time an episode of waking up to feeling like my eyes were shaking back and forth. I felt off balance and unsteady moving around. Not sure how longit lasted becasue I went back to sleep and it was gone the next day. Neuro was very concerned about this, and diagnosed me now with Clinically Isolated Syndrome. I will be starting Copaxone soon.
Emotions all over the place. Sometimes I'm ok with this, sometimes I'm very much not. Scared of medication, scared of this diesase.
I am so glad that you reached out here. In addition to this site, we have other support resources that you may interest you. Use this link
to find a local group. You can also call us at 1.800.344.4867 (M-F 7am-5pm MST) to talk to an MS Navigator.
I also want to provide you with some information from our website that you may find helpful:
Clinically Isolated Syndrome (CIS)
MS Navigator Stephanie
Emotions are funny things, they are reactions to the present based upon how we have reacted to things that have happened in the past. The same emotions we felt as children we apply to situations we approach as adults. The dentist was a horror for me, took me along time to overcome opening the door, then opening my mouth, for someone to put their fingers in, cant really remember why? But I have bitten a bunch of dentists, it must have been something terrible.
Fear of the unknown is a very powerful loss of control. Why allow the unknown to take over our lives and make us miserable, who says the unknown is bad, awful, terrible, evil, ugly, dangereous, costly, it is simply a corner we have not turned.
Think back to a time when your parents instilled fear in you. It was simply their way of controlling you, getting you to do something they wanted you to do, they scared you into submission.
Whatever is wrong with you physically, something is about to make it better, why should that frighten you? When I was about to have cataract surgery my first reaction was to be afraid and to tense my body, then i thought to myself, what am I getting so worried about, THIS is going to make things better, this is going to make me see. Sometimes you just have to trust that things will get better, instead of thinking the worst.
We go to doctors to fix what is wrong, to feel better, on occasion ha ha, it takes a bit longer than we would like for some relief. Relief is what we are looking for, to feel better.
If you are afraid so much of medication, look for a holistic choice you can live with. If you are afraid of the disease, learn what it is and how to adapt to it, learn how to live throught it , in spite of it. Many of us have lived long lives with ms, despite the bad days. Everyone in life has bad days, maybe we have a few more, perhaps not.
What is important is, for us to figure out what makes us happy - not what scares us, if you focus on keeping yourself happy the rest wont feel so bad. Working on having a good day, no matter what, changes our perspective. The half full glass is far richer than the half empty glass. Keep looking at the richness in your life, what you are still able to do, what you have done. At 17 I remember thinking about all the kids in my neighborhood who never made it to 17. Success is every day you are alive, yet again you have beaten the odds.