Hi! I'm newly diagnosed with MS at 23 years old, but this is something I've had for a long time that was just undiagnosed (says the scars on my brain). I went to the hospital for what I thought was a terrible sinus infection putting pressure behind my right eye and causing it to be blurry. Suprise! It was MS. That was two months ago and I have just gotten into seeing the neurologist. I am still in the process of getting my medication worked out, still on the phone with a hospital or insurance place every day, and this has all happened so fast I'm having trouble coping with it. I'm not really worried about me though, I'm strong and I'll figure it out eventually but I feel like my fiance is having difficulty coping with this and that is making it a hundred times more difficult for me.
At first he was great, but it seems like he's over it now and he feels like I should be over it too. He feels like I'm not 'accepting' his support because I'm still not coping, I feel like he doesn't listen when I tell him there's no experation date on coping.
I really just don't know what to do or say that will reach him and make him realize he is only making it more difficult for me. I'm worried this is going to damage our relationship and to be perfectly honest I'm still trying to work everything out myself.
I would love to please hear from someone who had similar experiences? What helped? What didn't? Please help.
Thank you so much for posting this, I'm sorry you're having a difficult time. Having a new diagnosis is overwhelming enough, but trying to navigate the affect that such a diagnosis can have on your loved ones is difficult too. Would he be open to calling us? We are absolutely here for him too, we can answer questions, provide support and even send information to him. For you, we can do the same of course. Please give us a call if you have a chance! 1 800 344 4867 Opt 1.
Otherwise, here are some helpful links to information about being newly diagnosed, relationships and more:
Family and Relationships
Resources and Support
Remember that he might be really upset about this news, and that doesn't mean he is thinking about himself. Some times having to be the one who watches a person they care about go through something difficult is harder for them than the person that is actually going through it. Be patient with him, he most likely wants to fix it and be done with it, and he may be having a hard time accepting that he cannot.
Kit, There is a wonderful essay on line called, Welcome to Holland, which will give both of you a new perspective of your challenge. It served me very well when I was newly diagnosed and still does. Hope it works for you too.