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  • MellyK
    Hi all
    I am 35 ...no children yet ..a partner always been fit and healthy and just been diagnosed. 
    IAM TERRIFIED

    I want children.. I want to keep going to the gym and running .. And Im terrified my partner will leave me

    I first noticed the day after coming back from a Christmas holiday few weeks ago. My left leg felt numb and still is ...the day after it spread to to my left side of tummy just to to under my breast bone  and also left side of my back.

    Its been like this for 2weeks now. I have headaches and sometimes my right eye goes blurry and gets worse when im stressed hot or exercise.

    DID I SAY IM TERRIFIED??

    I have had 2MRI scans one on my head, other on my spine. 8-10 lesions seen in my brain and multiple in my back. 

    Have seen a neurologist but he disnt say much as wanted me to have a lumbar puncture to confirm ms. 
    I have now to wait just under another 2weeks for my next appointment with him 

    In the meantime my head is spinning and Im over thinking majorly. I dont want to end up in   wheelchair... And I want to have children

    IAM TERRIFIED. and literally cannot cope with over thinking

    This sucks. . . 
  • maria1
    Hello Melly, How does being terrified serve you? We usually take a position about something for a payoff, what is the payoff? Having a diagnosis is the beginning of a plan to a better life. It gives you information about what is wrong and how to work on fixing it. both of my cousins have two children and both have worked though one is retired now. She worked until retirement and has other medical issues as if not more dramatic than ms. There are many parents here and many here who live a life instead of just existing. Being alive is experiencing every moment one moment at a time. staying in the moment, making the most of every moment right now is how we get to have a life.

    Usually, what you fear you become, if you are afraid of being alone, afraid of being crippled for life, sounds like self fufilling prophecy, how about imagining a better life.
  • MS_Navigators
    Hi Melly,

    A new diagnosis can be overwhelming- and terrifying.  You're not alone, and I'm so happy you posted here.  If you would like to talk with one of our MS Navigators, give us a call at 1 800 344 4867 and we would be happy to provide information and support to you.

    Jess, MS Navigator
  • jennifer_m
    First off, ultimate terror comes with the new diagnosis territory.  Second, let yourself work through whatever you're feeling in your own good time.  Don't feel like you have to "get over it" i.e. the shock, the fear, the uncertainty, in a certain amount of time.
    Seeking out a neurologist that specializes in MS may be a good idea if you feel that your current doctor isn't treating your apprehension with compassion or understanding.  I saw a neurologist several years before my formal diagnosis who didn't treat my worries about maybe having MS with any seriousness; his diagnosis was a vitamin deficiency (with NO blood test, may I add.)  I now have a neuro that is compassionate, attentive, and puts due attention on any concerns I have.  This disease, if you do have MS, is affecting you, so you have the right to stand up and have your concerns and worries addressed.
    As for kids, I had an acquaintence who had MS but had 3 healthy children.  You actually go into remission when you are pregnant!
    Whatever happens, we here at Planet MS are here to chat with anytime you need.
  • Rich1007
    Hi Melly,

    Ahhh, the age old "Significant other might leave" problem.  Many of us have been where you are.  It hurts and it stinks.  Some leave. Some stay.  That's their decision and you just accept that.  You on the other hand need to take care of you and get on with your life. You need to surround yourself with caring, loving people so if your SO decides to pull away IMO best thing is to let him/her go.  
  • jasonprestovfd
    Mellyk,
    fear of the unknown is natural, take a deep breath and go one step at a time. I was diagnosed at 35, but had symptoms since 34. Yes by then in life you are about to have the tiger by the tail... then MS enters your about to be perfect life. It sucks! But it's not the end of the world, it's just the end of what your world use to be. It will take time to accept that MS is now part of your journey, but that's normal. 
    its sucks, it hurts, its scary, it is aggravating, it's the opposite of what anyone wishers for...
    but do me a favor, please take a moment, take a deep breath, give yourself time to accept it.... then move on!
    MS only wins if we give up, never surrender, never give up, if you want to have kids go for it! But go forward with knowledge. Learn it, know it, understand it, MS is the enemy. Never stop fighting it. 
    one of my firefighters wives has so many brain lesions that in her MRI you can not see her brain. She keeps fighting... 
    Ive told her she's my inspiration, she has told me that I'm her inspiration. Somehow that makes sense. But if we both keep fighting because of the other, it's a win. 
    I hope you find resolution soon and no matter what keep moving tward your goals in life.
    MS is not a reason to give up on your dreams, it's the reason to fight for your dreams with everything you have!!
  • alicehoo10
    If I could give Jason 3 or more hearts of appreciation I would. Excellent reply.