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  • jazminb

    I was diagnosed with MS 6 months ago, during spring semester finals during my sophomore year. I am now a junior at a very prestigious/rigorous university.  I am having a very hard time living with this disease in general but particularly being away from home. I'm not a fan of needles so it's already tough to do the self-injections, and to be so far away from home I often feel lonely even though I have friends who are willing to help and be there for me. Most times I just want to quit all together even though I know people live long lives with this disease. I had aspirations to be a doctor but I feel like because of MS I'll never really be able to accomplish this and I've just been feeling up and down for a long time. Thoughts? Suggestions? 
  • seenjo11
    Maybe research and lab work is the direction you should look into? Catalog yourself. Keep a chart compiled by you the doctor on you the patient. Make sense? Much of your future with MS will depend on the things you do now to manage your MS.

    And I enthusiastically recommend writing and reading about you & MS as much as you can - in between your regular academic pursuits. And then consider joining a writing group like We Write for the Fight (yeah I'm biased).

    Good luck.

  • artinwritting1
    That's the thing, I don't do anything to manage my MS. Truth be told, I have NO IDEA HOW TO :-( I feel so so bad for my husband and my inlaws because they all have to deal with the bad side of me and I effin hate that! I can't control my mood swings, my anger is the worse and its something I really don't want my daughter to pick up but I'm starting to see her throw tantrums like me and it makes me cry beacuse its ALL MY FAULT!!!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, I'M GOING NUTS; MS IS KILLING ME
  • johnjr1964
    Early on it is common to have these type thoughts and reactions. I was ready to sell my home or install handicapped aids all over. Same with needles. I also didn't want to talk about the disease. You are ahead of the game in that your reaching out for support . It took me  7 years. Keep on talking or doing whatever helps you cope. You are also fortunate to have friends that are willing to help and talk too. Most of us have people in our lives that don't really understand the burden or terrible "what-ifs" we play in our minds. Uncertainty can be a *****. All your comments and thoughts are normal for being newly diagnosed. What we need to learn to do is to find ways to manage those demons because the reality is our MS isn't going away and we'll all live with MS a long time. How the MS impacts us in our future is the great unknown . Also how we allow it to impact us. 
    If your energy and mental acumen are OK I encourage you to continue your studies? You are almost done with the first part. It would be great if you became a neurologist, epidemiologist, radiologist, nurse, therapist or anything that helps folks like us or can contribute to bettering our situations. With disease, and life, the good and bad comes in waves. You get knocked down by one wave and then you get back up. We have to. Until MS, I'd never really been knocked down or faced real adversity. I'd faced perceived adversity for what I now know was really peanuts or petty BS. You have some support, you are asking for help. Don't quit on yourself or your dream. What helps is developing the ability to shink stuff down into smaller pieces, steps, moments. Don't hesitate to reach out or email  if you ever need to talk. You will,persevere and accomplish your goals!
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    Such a difficult situation. Hopefully, it wasn't that tough for you. Tasks in schools, colleges can be pretty difficult for some students. No wonder they search for dissertation assistance, for instance. But the problem you described makes things worse.