...the fact or proccess of losing something or someone, is how it is defined, it explains nothing.
Webster's thesaurus says: the action of having something go out of one's possession or control.
Lost, no longer possessed, irrecoverable bygone dead defunct departed gone vanished absent missing doomed.
And still, there is not a good description to express or describe the situation we face with ms. Everyway we turn we lose, money, time, skill, ability, friends, family, independence, autonomy. Every day we lose something else, or we are, more succinctly, deprived of everything we want, neeed, desire, choose, like enjoy or otherwise amuse ourselves with.
Everything we have or had is removed! We are left empty, void, barren, lacking.
And still, none of these words seem to satisfy the feeling, none truly describe the barren expanse we are left with, the hollow.
Yet, we begin anew each day, we wake in search of something to fill the void. There are days when we have no idea where to look or what to choose or how to find something anything everything, a crumb a speck, a tiny remnant of what we once had, we flounder in a sea of emptiness, our minds unable to fathom the empty ocean we have become. We search furthur, beyond all the reaches, nothing for us to grasp, nothing to hold on to, nothing to touch.
So we wade in the abyss of emptyness, waiting for a solution, floating nowhere, our heads just barely above the water, with the wind knocked out of our sails, we ahve no idea what has hit us, so much of who we are has been torn apart we dont know where or how to begin to rebuild or whether we have the ability. We float, float, float.
Slowly, oh so very slowly the water receeds and we see objects that catch our attention, the whamo effect that has been vibrating our senses is dulling, we begin to see, hear, smell, touch, we begin again to build a life, one, not as we had envisioned for ourselves, but one we can live with.
So, when you wonder why you are feeling so awful, why you are overwhelmed with this new life, remember all that has been lost that we must replace with something new, and begin the new beginning with something new, and every day, keep adding to fill the sink hole in our heart, and keep filling it with more and more and more and more, and there will be new ground to walk upon. xxooxx