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  • Nron
    Im just so tired of always feeling pain and not being able to do what i use to. I miss running in the park or being able to walk for miles and work hard. Sometimes i have bad thoughts all because everyday i deal with pain. For the last 2years ive been on high dose of prednizone for my breathing and they weaned me off it and my migrains are worse and my ms flairs up more often. I talked to my doc and she got an mri but there where no lesions active and its been 2years since they seen them so they know i have ms but they wont do anything about it. And im just tired of the pain all the time. I lay on a dark room with no sound most of the day. What id do for no pain once in a while. My question for anyone is has anyone ever thought about giving up? I know it a bad thought im just curious if im the only one who thinks that 
  • maria1
    Dear Nron, Please focus on the pain. Exactly where is it? (like: the top of my head, six inches above my eyebrows) How big is it? (four inches square) does it have a color?(red) is it heavy?(yes) Is it solid?(yes) how heavy is it? (it is solid like steel) How else can you describe the pain?(it throbs, pulses, stabs, sears)

    As much as you can, describe what is going on, stare into the center of the pain, examine all of it and do your best to hone the description, keep adding adjectives that further describe what it feels like. Continue this every time it happens, keep describing and examining the pain. The more you continue to do this the more it will lessen, and then disappear.

    Do you knoww how to relax your muscles? tighten the muscles of your forehead, hold it for five seconds, then relax. Continue with the cheeks,mouth and the rest of the muscles in your body. Do you notice that you continue to tense your muscles? Get in the habit of doing this exercise during the day, it will soften the muscles and make it easier at night.

    Are you drinking plenty of water? Water is important.

    What do you think about, besides the pain, do you write or draw or color or scribble. Try drawing the pain, 

    Do you know that you can buy an over the counter pain patch with lidocaine in it? Sometimes the sensation of pain is like an echo that keeps ringing and a patch may break the cycle long enough for it to stop being a habit that your body does automatically.

    Is medical marijuana available where you are?

    Does heat or cold soothe?

    Pain and lack of sleep or rest wears us down, how about melatonin it is used to aid in sleep.
    Have you tried any of the above? maria
  • bubbadog66
    I can identify with the pain that prevents me from doing the things i used to love and the phychological effects it can muster up as i attempt to find a new purpose and meaning for my life.

    I wish there were simple solutions for getting beyond it!

    Maria made some very good points in her reply to this post and "solutions" you might want to consider. There is no "easy" solution, no profound answers to return to that pre MS place in your life. It is my understanding that all we can hope for are those baby steps of forward motion.... celebrate the small successes because they are HUGE.

    I've been diagnosed with MS since Dec 2016 so i'm still feeling the losses it brings to the table. Baffled & confused on what the next step could be and how i can feel ok in my own skin.

    I've heard that it can take a few years to "figure" it all out and fully accept my MS so it doesn't define who i am. No clue what that looks like because everyone is different where the effects of MS are concerned. My natural supports can complicate matters as well because they experience this loss of the "old" me as well. Pre MS relationships can be challenging and heart breaking as well...this is unfortunately the harsh reality of it.

    Sure, i feel as though i wanna give up at times. I share these thoughts & feelings with my therapist and peer supports who have been here and done this in their lives with MS on their table/plate. It helps me to view the unpredictability as "life's little surprises"...moments that i walk through where being graceful eludes me.

    I have found GRATITUDE to be a powerful tool to combat my moments where MS yields that overwhelming hopelessness. I often, when i remember to do so, make A-Z Gratitude Lists. Seeing 26 things i can still do and things i still have can ease the pain and distract me from it for a spell while i compile my list of positive attributes that are real and in my life. I've yet to be stumped by my extreme feelings of self pity where i buy into utter hopelessness...i've always been able to list 26 things!!!

    I hear this exercize of developing an attitude of gratitude amidst the darkness of being newly diagnosed is an action that helps me get from "here" to "there".

    Just know that you're not alone in this and in time everything will feel "OK" least that is what i hear. From my experience this is true as well because after one year of this arresting those self defeating thoughts gets easier to some degree. My heart goes out to you and your place of pain!! Not a good time and that is why we are all here to help each other through it to a better place inside our own heads.
  • anywhereoutofthisworld
    I was diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis in late July of 2017 after a brain MRI came back showing lots of MS lesions and a spinal tap came back positive for high amounts of elevated protein 'o' bands. Due to the amount of lesions & 'o' bands, my neurologist believes I'd actually had MS for quite some time. Here is a good article I recommend you review: Click for article. The article willl clarify you on types of depression and steps to cope. I myself as I type this have had radiating fatigue and numb like pain in my legs & arms throughout the day. I am always tired cause I have bad insomnia which I take Ambien for but I need a higher dose so hoping to get that increased. On top of that insomnia there's my MS fatigue. It's not easy and never is but I do see a mental health therapist and she has been helpful in terms of depression & anxiety (I am also on a wait list for a psychologist). I've dealt with both anxiety & depression my entire life just about. Life with MS is an uphill climb, but if you seek out some help, perhaps talking to a therapist it could prove some help, at least it couldn't hurt. I'd definately discuss these feelings with loves ones perhaps and also your neurologist. Never give up, cause then MS wins and you can't give it that much power. Of course we members on this site are always here for you. I'll leave you with this quote for now:

    When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. —Henry Ford
  • MS_Navigators
    Hi Nron, just FYI, I sent you a private message.
  • gabrielle519

    Yes I think we all think about it but please get help. There are a lot of good couselors out there. One saved my life. I also want to give you The Hope Line 1-800-273-8255.

    I got very bad with MS to a point I couldn't work or even walk. Everyone was saying I was depressed and stressed. Well of course I got there because I couldn't walk. I finally got a second opinion and learned I wasn't crazy. I was then sent to a MS specialist. Finally someone listened. I got the help I needed. Now I'm doing great. I had to work hard with physical and occupational therapy. I worked hard and can't imagine what I would have missed out on if I had ended my life. Please get help! Gabrielle
  • maria1
    Have you tried hemp oil for the pain? Are you going to speak with us again? How are you?