Psychic pain is our imagination run amok, it is the stuff we make up to scare ourselves into feeling something because we have suppressed our emotions so deeply into disbelief that we feel nothing. We make up the most frightening stories we even put Stephen King to shame. We create terror so we can feel something, we try to reach our emotions, or we punish ourselves for not feeling anything.
And when that does not work we blame others, they did it to us, it is their fault, they are responsible, they are wrong - because we are numb - and we want to feel - we want to know happiness, joy, pleasure, anything. We punish ourselves for all the hurts we have survived, but we do not cry, we do not whimper we do not moan. Then we blame them again, look what they have done to us, how dare they, we seethe with a vehemence, a violence that we think is okay, a loathing that helps us foam at the mouth like a wild animal, and we think this is okay, and we do not cry, we allow the rage to roar beyond control because we have a feeling, and we need that feeling to know we are alive, to know we are human.
We go from letting ourselves feel nothing to feeling the worst, the most, the ultimate, and then we hunt or a solution to calm ourselves because this feeling is uncontrolable and we must be in control, of our feeling and our lives. And through this all we miss life, we miss living, we miss humanness, all because we let our imagination run amok as we avoid life, and next we regret, all we missed by avoiding the humanness of life, feeling the feelings of life. so when time runs out all we can say is where has all the time gone, for we felt none of it.
Positive thoughts increase well-being! Here is a good one: We who have ms never get a day off, we are working to make our lives better, twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, no weekends off, no holidays off, no vacations, no rest, no respite. We are running a marathon that does not end. Sometimes we get weary, sometimes we get low energy. And when we achieve a tiny goal, or see a glimmer of progress we see how long it has taken and how hard we have fought, and we celebrate the success as a milestone, and we place the win in our awards folder, and we continue where we left off, with no holiday, no rest, and no days off, hooray for us, and BRAVO, we are champions, even when no one else sees us.