I am having some issues with one of the women at work. We work very closely together so of course like happens for most people you see the worst of the worst of that person. As an adult you except that you too are not perfect and probably to show her a pretty bad side but when you are having a rough day and we all know we have mood swings. I also don't trust a lot of people and I get suspicious and paranoid. So when I react not so pleaseantly to someone it isn't always because I'm a terrible person its just sometimes happens. She is not talking to me basically ignoring me. It is causing me a lot of stress. I like the other people I work with and don't want to leave or move but the stress is getting to me. I haven't seen my psychologist I kind of graduated but I have to go see him today because of all this. I want reasurance that this isn't my fault. Yes I apologized but honestly she should also be apologizing because she isn't perfect either and honestly some of the things she does really just surprises me. Now this boy she has really let me down. Anyway I just need some cheering on that we can get past this. Maybe some positive thoughts thrown my way. By the way she also thinks that my boss chooses favorites and she doesn't think that is fair just because I am "sick" and she is not. Can you believe she said that to me. I don't think of myself as "sick". I also don't think that I am favored and even if I am it isn't my fault so why is she taking that out on me? Thanks for listening.
I am sorry you have having a hard time with your coworker right now. I hope things get better soon. I am glad you are taking to your psychologist about ways to resolve this issue.
All the best,
MS Navigator Stephanie
Maybe she is having a bad day too, maybe she needs a hug, maybe you can try buying a box of chocolate and sharing it with her, maybe she needs help too, maybe she has no friends, maybe she is lonely, maybe you should say that you dont think it is fair either(about anything), maybe she is a pain in the butt, maybe she has a toothache, maybe she is jealous of all the attention you get, maybe she her husband left her, maybe she is on drugs, maybe she really really is in love with you, maybe she like pushing your buttons because she sees how much it affects you, maybe she likes that she scares you, maybe she is afraid of making friends, maybe she is constipated.
Whatever the maybe, you are giving her control over your life, power over you by always reacting negatively.
Nice shirt, are you okay, did you see what that jerk did, you going to the party, small talk breaks a lot of ice, make believe you dont know her or that she feels aggressive towards you and be nice to her, not alot, just enough for you to be surprised about yourself, it will surprise her.
People are always afraid of people who act crazy, because they are so unpredictable, on the other hand you are predictable so you can be controlled, thus you become at the effect of others, a victim, smile and play the fool, see how she reacts, play, life is no fun always being serious. Do your best to take really good care of yourself people will respect that.
It's not easy when you have "invisible symptoms." I have a coworker that works with me every other Saturday and asks the day before "Are you going to be here?" because I have to call in at random times with little notice. Some people , I hate to say, just don't understand or they don't want to understand. That is NOT your fault. It sucks, but you can rise above the frustration that the coworker is doling out.
Who knows, maybe through our examples those coworkers may get a clue over time. Just keep doing your best and don't forget to be sweet to yourself.
This is a difficult situation indeed. I would say try and talk with her about it but I know that's easier said then done seeing as she doesn't seem the reasonable type. My best advice is to give her time, and I know that's difficult. It may not work but if you give her time to cool off, maybe she'll come around. I would act towards her as you would anyone else you work with, don't let her know that she is upsetting you anymore. Kill em' with kindness as the old saying goes. Also another saying you have probably heard of is the old adage, “You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” Life is easier if you put a smile on your face instead of a scowl when approaching the world, in all aspects of life. You have to learn (and it's far from easy) to let the little things go. If someone did something that could be perceived as rude, I would just flash them a smile and carry on. Being nice to nice people is great, but being nice to those who are not nice to you is how the world becomes better. We should not want to defeat or humiliate those we don’t agree with but to win their friendship and understanding. Perhaps as times goes on you and her can come to some understanding, I know it seems impossible in this moment in time, but time can he an excellant healer, and patience is a virtue.