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  • rikicat
    I'm newly diagnosed and my husband just seems to want me to handle it. He's isolated me through the years, so I have no one to talk to. I try to talk to him, but he turns it around and acts like I'm attacking him.
  • maria1
    hi rikicat, I am sure you will read plenty of posts from us, about not getting support, looking outside for someone to aid in lifting us up above it all. Some of us are fortunate to have strong partners and family to surround us with all that we need. Then there are the rest of us who must do it alone. We must build our self esteem and self worth to a level where we hold our head high and feel good about ourselves.

    ​ms is a strange ailment that teaches us about looking at ourselves and how we are reacting to things. You are in an extra tough place having to be caregiver for an aging parent as well as an un supportive partner. You might want to consider asking the doc for an antidepressant to aid you in maintaining a positive attitude, it is what you need now and you seem not to have the luxury of time to learn how to look at situations and make the best of them. Laughter is the best medicine and hours of therapy will help alot, antidepressants are the shortcut you need right now.

    ​You can, when you have the time, read many of the posts here. They will all give you the support you need along with the information it has taken us years to acquire. You have the good fortune to be diagnosed in the cyber-age with information at your fingertips, and we all have posted here to make it easier for those who are joining us.

    ​I keep quoting my childhood friend who at 16 declared to me: 'I am a very lazy person, I try to find the fastest easiest way to get the job done.' And you have - we have shortened the time it will take you to grasp what it took us years, our gift to you. It pleases us to know that we have made things better for others, it brings us 'joy' (what a funny thing to say) to know that what we are sharing, will make things better for others.

    ​We are here, we listen, we make mistakes, misspeak, and sometimes get it right, and as you will read, you are not alone, we are alongside you. maria   
  • MS Navigator Jess
    While I don't have personal experience- I do want to say that I'm so happy you found your way here- now you have people to talk to for sure!

    You may also find benefit of attending some of the in person groups as well, you can find one here: Find a local support group

  • bubbadog66
    Maria said it so well. We need you as much as you need us, there is power in numbers.

    Personally, and to my disbelief, i have been abandoned by the majority of my closest people since my diagnosis in Dec 2016. It's all on THEM because THEY are simply selfish and make everything all about them...not how i would treat someone i claim to love! Being newly diagnosed i have enough on my plate so i walk over the "dead" bodies and put those relationships on hold. TRUST ME, i get how a relationship with a spouse is the most difficult one to accomplish that.

    Keep coming here, talk with us, get to know us so we can know and assist you!!!
  • fng2017
    Hi rikicat, I totally understand where you are coming from. My husband seems to be mostly concerned with how MY Ms is effecting HIM. He has support from everyone he knows, but I am treated like I'm just being lazy. It is not as bad as it was when we are alone, but as soon as we get around other people his demeanor completely changes. I am sorry you are going through this. I know it's not easy. Just know you are not alone. I joined this sight because I was struggling really bad with having no support. Since then I have read several comments about others having no or little support from anyone especially family.
  • waltzing_matilda

    You're not alone.  Really.  You're not.

    I get no support of any kind from my husband.  What I get are complaints that he has to do his own dishes or his own laundry.  He thought that if I stepped away from my work and went on disability I would have time to do all the domestic crap that I really don't care about.  He doesn't understand that not working means not working.  Housework is work.

    I'm not shy.  I have always been clear about my priorities.  He just keeps thinking I'm going to change.

    Not only do I get no support; what I actually get from him is emotional abuse.  I honestly think his treatment of me is contributing to the stress that has caused my decline. I think he is making me sick. Right now I'm so angry that I'm not sure we have a future.  I stay because I love him, but he makes it hard.