Hello, my name is Cris. I am now eighteen and for the years since my mother has been diagnosed with MS, I have mostly shrugged it off and focused on my own thing. Being a teenager my main focus was myself and what I wanted to do. My focuses weren't set on the woman that had raised me as a single mother and who now seemed to be having a hard time getting up in the morning. I did not understand it nor did I give much time to ask questions and read up on the disease. I knew she had it but was selfish and turned a blind eye. Now, though, being a young adult, I am witnessing her pain and struggle with a brand new eye, not only because I have matured (a bit) but also because the struggle has worsened. Days go by when she cannot walk, when she faces eye and nerve trouble, gets dizzy, and has trouble communicating. I have aspirations to be a writer and have since gained interest in starting a blog on the day to day life and history of my mother's struggle and my trying to gain some kind of grasp on it. Can anyone relate? Anyone have advice for how I can be the best son and helper and ways that she can feel better on a day by day basis? Thank you.
Cris, The best son you can be is to do the very best to take good care of yourself. She will have joy watching you bloom into the best you can be.
As a younger person you were normal, you paid attention to you growing up, going from childhood to young adult. It is not a selfish thing. You are responsible for your life and no one elses. As l;ong as you take responsiblilty for your life your mom will be proud. It will help her to see you taking really good care of yourself.
Cris, first off let me tell you how sorry I am that you are having to go through this. I am a mother of a teen boy and the most overwhelming thought in my mind when I was diagnosed with Ms was that my son was no going to have to live with a mom who has MS. I'm sure your mom feels the same sense of loss for you that I do for my own son. I agree with the previous reply that you were doing exactly what you were supposed to do by living your life and doing your thing. I hope and pray my son does the same. 18 is not much older, but it seems that you have gained a new awareness of what your mom is going through and it sounds like you have grown in your capacity to feel compassion for her. That is a beautiful thing. The best thing that you can do for her is to ask her what she needs. I'm sure there will be a part of her that doesn't want her son to have to help her, but there will also be a part of her that is so very grateful that she has a son who cares. Don't give up your life. She would not want that any more than I want that for my own son. I don't know where you live, but I am sure there is help to be had in your community. Find it. Get her whatever help she needs and continue to live your life. Good luck to you. Much love from another mother with MS.