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  • unhcua1
    I have been married for 31 years to my best friend.  He has had MS for 21 years and the last few years have been challenging for him.  Lately, his mood has been very down due to his increased pain and having to retire medically.  
    this depressed mood is manifested as irritability alternating with deep depression.  He will sometimes make veiled comments about "he won't be around much longer" or "I'm just done...".
    This scares me and I am reaching out to all of you for advice. thanks.
  • maria1
    Pain is the worst part of ms, is it real or just nerves firing wrong, is there something else going on, will it ever go away, nothing seems to help, and all of the above. 

    ​Trying to cope with the pain that never goes away wears the body down, never giving it an opportunity to repair itself. Sometimes painkillers help by nipping it in the bud before it becomes a habit for the nerves. 

    Sometimes pain is aggrivated by stopping drugs cold trukey and not being weaned off the drugs.

    ​Sometimes muscle spasms tighten the muscles and we react by tightening the muscles even more.

    ​Where is the pain? if it is the legs or back there are over the counter pain patches with lidocaine that give relief, massage helps to as well as warm compresses.

    If it is muscle tightness, relaxation exercises help, tighten the muscle hold it for a few secons then release. Do it to the face too, the cheeks forehead, lips, this way he will see if he is practicing tight muscles out of habit, 

    rsvp, maria
  • bubbadog66
    I am also married to my best friend...a match made in HE double hockey My pain and overwhelming anxiousdepression make me a person i don't even want to be around most days!! Yup, it's true and humiliating all in itself.
    I can tell you that when i discuss my "ridiculous" plans to end the madness and remove my burdensome self from life's equation my self centeredness can get the best of me. My best friend will raise her voice and given the moment remind me how serious she takes the death do us part and in sickness and health parts of our commitment to each other and enough already AGAIN with that kinda talk. Comforting in that at least one person has my back and wants me around. Sometimes that's all i need to nudge me through and past that particular dark unpredictable moment i unfortunately find myself in.
    True love i tell ya, best medicine out there...and for that i am truly grateful and blessed. I know i'd do all this for her too.
  • MS_Navigators
    Hello unhcua1,

    Pain and Depression are very common symptoms of MS. Is he talking to his doctors about these symptoms? 

    If you haven't already, you may want to see if he is open to talking to a counselor? To locate counselor referrals, you may wish to consult HelpPROHelpPRO offers an online search tool to help you find the right mental health professional for your particular needs.  Use the search tool to locate individual counseling, couples counseling, family counseling and group therapy.  Advanced Search: HelpPRO

    Lasty, I want to include some information for you that may be helpful:
    Carepartners: National MS Society

    Carepartner Support Resource List: National MS Society

    Please give us a call at 1.800.344.4867 (M-F 7am-5pm MST) if you have any additional questions.

    MS Navigator Stephanie