Looking for someone who has spouse who is angry and has outbursts of anger. Really looking for someone who has navigated these issues successfully to assist in providing skills that may assist in dealing with this. My wife is angry about the past and fearful/angry about what she thinks the future will be. We have fought, had discussions, and had periods of not talking. We reach an understanding and then she is right back to being angry about past things. So....really looking for ways to help her move on and ways to help me cope better when she is so angry.
I'm so happy you reached out today, I'm sure living with the emotional changes that can come along with MS is incredily taxing. You'll find a lot of support and information here. Emotional changes, and namely anger can be common with MS. Actually we have an article about the link between anger and MS that is full of ideas on how to cope:
If you think she'd be open to it, maybe a counselor could assist her. We'd be happy to provide referrals, you can email firstname.lastname@example.org, or call 1 800 344 4867 to connect with an MS Navigator.
I enjoyed that article. Do you have any articles/advice for how I personally can respond in a helpful way to anger and frustration my husband is experiencing? He was diagnosed in 2003. He is a great guy and I love him dearly, but he is struggling. When I suggest talking with someone, he does not see the point because talking will not change the facts of what he is dealing with. When I say maybe not, but it will help you feel and cope better (I have had a lot of counseling dealing with an abusive father and am in a pretty good place right now), he says maybe that helps me because I am a woman, but it won't help him to "share his feelings." Yes, I married John Wayne! He is still working, but at a job he hates and feels belittles him every day - basically staying for the insurance. So I figured I can't make him respond in a certain way, maybe I can learn the best way for me to respond and, eventually, he may come around to seek help himself. Thanks.
If you can afford it, I suggest you getting into therapy - no with a psychiatrist, byt a therapist, they listen instead of think when people speak(most of them). Preferably both of you but at least one of you.
Some of the situation is how you are reacting which is feeding the frenzy.
If that is not possible there is a post under Treating MS called Take Charge of My MS which has information about how to change thinking, and helpful thoughts.
Thank you for your post.I joined this group to find help with the same issues. My husband was diagnosed over a year ago and imagine that for several years before this his anger and frustration was related to MS. Unfortunantly, as the spouse we get to be the punching bag. At times it borders on emotional and verbal abuse, but it seems at times he gets a free pass because it is related to the MS. My husband get frustrated and angry over being depressed about having MS about the limited treatement options for MS, the list goes on. As a spouse what can you do? It feels as if there is a built in free pass, yet the fighting and anger still hurts those of us that are getting the back lash. I try to explain that our children do not understand what MS is and can't understand or rationalize his outbursts. I tend to notice the outbursts get worse with heat, extreme activity, and extreme periods of pressure or stress. (basically all hard parts of life) I hope that this site can help those of us who have to handle the side effects of MS at an emotional level. - Good Luck :)