That sums it up. I've been battling this monster for so long and struggling so much to keep going and it's getting harder everyday. I'm supposed to have help but it's been a roller coaster with the people that are supposed to help me. And I switched back to my pain patches and have been able to do much better physically at times but then I end up overdoing it.
Hello bird, This is just me letting you know I read your post and am paying attention to what you are saying. Some days I wish I were alone, we got two very vocal cats that we spoiled just because... and they love to wake us at two in the morning. They were both feral kittens that wandered to our house. My partner loves cats so I thought (duh) it a good idea to keep him amused as he wanders through old age. So when the boys scream and yell at two a.m. my partner yells at them for waking him up and then of course I am up too, but I am cranky enough to know to keep my mouth shut or the neighbors half a mile away would hear all of us.
Then, during the day, I fall asleep on the couch to make up for the lost rest, and the phone rings with one of those robo calls, it doesnt matter what time i take a nap, they ALWAYS call even though we are on all the lists not to call.
Does noise drive you crazy? It does me. The electric range top is my latest peeve, It beeps when I turn it on, it beeps when I choose a burner, it beeps when I choose a setting, gas is much quieter.
But, in order for me to do any house work I blast the record player, loud sixties or seventies sounds. Yesterday it was the Doors, Janis and Harry Chapin, the louder the better so I can hear it in every room, I think it regulates my heart beat? or it feeds my energy level. Do you listen to music?
Are your neighbors close enough for you to hear them? Do you still have your dogs? Are they barkers? One of our neighbors has beagles that bark all the time, they drive me crazy and they are half a mile away, it is so quiet here usually, they must take them with them when they go to work? Then of course at night, they must let them out as guard dogs? And they bark at any creature that must be within a quarter of a mile of them, a fox or coyote or mouse?
Well, now that I have mentioned enough noise I will let you rest, so you can enjoy being alone, giggle.
This is Steve witht the National MS Society.
So sorry you are feeling this way. If you feel up to it, please do not hesitate to contact us at 1-800-344-4867 and talk with one of our Navigators. We'd be happy to help in any way!
I've been doing my best to kick MS in the butt every day for nearly 4 years myself. Some days I feel like I can take on the world, other days I'm lucky to shower and have the focus to read a book. Help from other people can be sporadic for many reasons: schedule changes, insecurity, who knows.
It's also easy, on the "take on the world" days, to push yourself a little too much; happens to the best of us. Just remember that with MS, you get used to never getting used to it. Cut yourself a bit of slack, know that the fact that you're still fighting the good fight is a blessing, and remember that help is out there (sometimes it takes a bit of digging, but it IS there). The rest of us here on Planet MS are standing with you, even if we aren't physically there.
I’m only recently diagnosed, so I don’t have all that much experience with MS yet, but I hope you know I read your post and appreciate you sharing what your feeling. It can be really difficult to reach out to people about what your going through. Your post shows me you’re a very resilient person, because you have the strength and the knowledge to know that it is possible to reach out and receive help. This is a sign of a truly strong person. People who struggle with being resilient will often try to solve problems all on their own, thinking that true strength comes from dealing with the hardships of life all by themselves.
As human beings who have evolved to grow and thrive within packs, no human being ever truly gets through something difficult on their own. Those who don’t reach out for help often struggle unnecessarily to reach their goal, or they don’t reach their goal at all. Truly strong people know this truth, that human beings need social connections in order to get through the hard times easily and safely. In short, I admire you for your ability to reach out, because it shows that you have the will and the strength to survive.
Keep fighting. Keep reaching out. Keep your faith. You’ll get through this.
Hope this helps.