Social cues guide our interactions and relationships with others. Research has shown MS can have a negative effect on social cognition which is the ability to interpret facial expressions, understand how others are feeling and the ability to show empathy.
Do you have awkward, confusing, or perhaps even funny, stories to share that you attribute to missed social cues? And, what advice would you give to someone newly diagnosed on how to handle MS-caused missed social cues?
hi my name is kim, my boyfriend has ms, and i find struggling with the part of this disease that effects cognition. more specifically im having a hard with, and i feel like im being selfish about this, but im having difficulty with my boyfriend and his inability to keep the promises he's been making ( seeing this in writing really makes me feel childish.) this has been occurring more frequently over the last year, and i dont know what to do
kim, is the inability because he does not remember or is unable. Sometimes I wish I could do things and am just not able, or i dont remember promising. Both situations stink and until we talked about it I did not realize either was a problem. ms slowly creeps into my reality, my brain is slow I dont see things until I walk into them. Communication about feelings without guilt or blame is useful. Hugging helps too.
Communication is key, is what I have learned kim. It can be hard even on your boyfriend to discuss how he is feeling with you. I know I struggle with explaining the challenges I have with my SO. And with the challenges of MS or possibly MS can make it even more difficult.
You will need to be a lot more understanding because it is very hard to deal with the cognition challenges along with everything else he may be experiencing. I have experienced a lot of mental and physical issues that I may or may not have to share with my SO. It is REAL
I know as a girl I have my own head issues with my relationship in regards to everyday let a lone the days I am also having mental/physical challenges because of an illness. If you plan on staying with him, I believe it would be in your best interest to learn as much as you can about the disease, because it does effect everyone differently. You will need to be open and honest and understanding. This is not something that will go away, this is now life....so take that big step and communicate. It may not be easy but in the end it will be best for you and him.
I agree with the other comments. Talking is key. I myself have ms.. and I don't know how many times my fiance hasn't told me I forgot a promise, especially when this was all starting for me. I felt terrible everytime, or couldn't even remember promising even after he told me what I had promised. Speaking about it often helped me quite a lot and writing things down. We now have a little internal joke where he calls me a goldfish when I've forgotten something again (Goldfish: Swims around it's bowl going 'Oh! A castle!* Swims around again "Oh! A castle!").
Gullable has been how I saw myself. I have been conned over and over again. It has been a blindside to my character, or so I thought. Since I have had symptoms to ms from age 16 I never thought that flaw was part of ms. After all these years it may be looked at through ms eyes. At least being duped so often is not, maybe, my fault, giggle! [I learn something new about ms every day, still.]