My story starts pretty abruptly. I was fine one day, and then I literally woke up and was partially paralyzed on my right side. I couldn’t feel my face or tongue. My balance was completely thrown off and I looked like I was drunk when I tried to walk. It was a pretty terrifying time in my life not knowing what was going on. I remember the day that I looked at my mother and asked, “Am I going to die?” and her response was, “I don’t know”. I was blessed to be in this small little town with a doctor that has been my doctor since I was 3, he immediately sent me for and MRI and to a neurologist and I was DX within a month of the initial symptoms.
May 13, 2009 is a day I will never forget. Sitting in the office waiting to hear the results of my MRI and spinal tap. Thankfully my mom and sister were with me. The doctor came and immediately my sister said, “lets get straight to the point, does she have MS?” the answer was Yes and thats when the battle began. I had two questions for the Neurologist. “Can I have children and am I going to die?” obviously the answers were yes to babies and no to death. Immediately I decided that I could handle this and that I would. I would do whatever I could to spread awareness and be positive about my DX. Don’t get me wrong there has been bad days, but my belief is that God allowed this in my life to draw me closer to him. There is purpose in everything that God allows, and me having MS is part of his perfect plan.
This past summer I had my second worse flare since being DX. With a toddler and an infant it was pretty terrifying to not be in control of my body. I lost function of my left arm, mentally I was a mess and I was exhausted! BUT I have a tribe! My church, MOPS, Family and Friends took over my life. It was hard to watch on the sidelines, but I couldn’t do life and I needed them, and they were there, every day until I came out of it. I still don’t have feeling in my left hand, but praise the Lord I have function!!! I have excepted that I will probably never feel anything with my left hand again and Im ok with that. I can hold my babies, and a cup!!!
When I am feeling good, I forget to be involved in the MS community. This flare has given me the inspiration to be more active and communicate with others about their struggles. I try to be a positive influence on newly DX people. I am an MS veteran at this point. I have almost 8 years under my belt and I am thriving, loving life, and raising babies!! I started an MS page called The MS Mom life. I would call it a video blog of my daily life with MS. I have over 400 followers across the world, they depend on me and value my strength. They have come out to their families about their DX because of my positive attitude about MS. Helping people just by being myself is a bizarre feeling, its very humbling, but I feel as though God is leading me to be an activist and peer supporter for those that are struggling with their DX. This flare has been hard, but it has also been one of the biggest blessing in my life. I have never been this close to Jesus before. If I didn’t have Him to cling to this would all be a lot more difficult. When I have difficult moments I am comforted in the fact that he has a plan and I just have to trust him. I have MS, MS does not have me!