I was in Ikea holding my 1 1/2 year old daughter, my 3 1/2 year old son in the cart, and my husband. My right arm started to feel numb and I gave my daughter to my husband to avoided dropping her. As we made our way to the front I became so numb on my right side that I could not feel anything. My right leg was dragging and my husband was so scared and carried me to the car. I was so scared and kept telling my kids it was okay. I could not feel anything or move the right side of my body, and couldn't tie my daughter's shoe. I couldn't talk very well and the Urgent Care thought I was having a stroke. I went to the ER, and they said the same. I had an MRI that night and the neurologist said it may be as well. Sooooo many tests, then they thought it could be my heart, had a tube down my throat to look for a possible problem, nothing. I had to learn how to walk, talk, and eat again. More tests. Finally a spinal tap showing that the bands in my spinal fluid came back positive for MS. Another MRI showing two lessions in my brain and one on my spine. It was so scary and knowing became even harder.
The worst part is how everyone in my family did not learn enough how to be emotional enough. My family was just running around me, taking the kids and leaving me to deal with a lot alone. All they seemed to care about was shielding my children from the monster in the room, and they began to fear the situation. We needed space as a family told my family only to have them ALL ignore us in public on four different occasions. I thought I was living a nightmare.
I do know that I am still fighting and became so fed up with how my family chose to help us and we left California, tried moving to Pahoa Hawaii to see if that would be easier (it wasn't), and now we are in Texas, and moving back to California. Texas Tech was the main reason, to have an MS specialist close and I could be able to be close to ammenities. So far so good, yet realizing nature needs to be back in our lives and soon.😊 We have become a stronger family with the four of us and are working together. It's been a family boot camp in a lot of ways. As for my extended family, emotions are still something they avoid and we have not have come together, they shame and blame.
So I listen to a lit of Brenne Brown books and just read Broken Open, and read these MS discussions to see that there are others in this world struggling in the same situations.
To all of you struggling with MS, it's not your fault, you are brave, you are loved, and your voice matter.
Love to all