When I was 11 or 12 I started to notice on one hand that I had a twitch that wouldn't leave my right side. It would come and go and I didn't pay much attention to it. As years progressed, I was diagnosed with a heart murmur and had to stop my physical activity. Later on in life, more symptoms would arise, still with association with this twitching, and everyone assumed it was my heart.
I finally got my heart cleared and kept having reoccurring symptoms, such as numbness and tingly hands, little sharp pains randomly strewed across my body. By the time I was 21 I went in the ER for this because I couldn't speak, and assumed it was a stroke, and was tired for weeks. A kind of tired that I could never explain. He dismissed me and told me I had anxiety...without giving me a test. For years I felt crazy because of this doctor. No one believed me.
From then on, I kept having these "attacks" and they would last a week. I began writing everything down until I came across MS and convinced a doctor to test me for this.
Once again, being very unlikely, they tested me for diabetes and everything else. I was convinced they were looking in the wrong spot, but had to unfortunately go through the "system."
I am now going on 26 and had an attack with a new symptom; a headache that is going on two weeks. I finally got someone to do to a CT Scan, and just like I expected, they were looking in the wrong spot.
A light spot on my brain, that very well could be MS.
Could very well be anything.
I am not diagnosed yet, but no one knows how I feel but the people who have MS. I am relieved that finally, after all these years, I'm getting the tests I deserve.
It's hard to explain to someone that you're tired. I was a runner, then couldn't drag myself out of bed. It's hard to be at work and have pins stab you across your hands. It's hard because no one can see it, they don't care.
I wish to find comfort here. I am new to this, and it's quite scary.
It's hard because I am a music writer and being on a computer is tiresome in many ways, but whatever I may have I will accomplish this.
Going through this, the lessons are irreplaceable. Not only for the value of life, but the understanding of what humans may go through, silently.
I want to help be another voice, even if I don't have MS, just for the respect of humans. You never know what they are going though.
I've been through many hardships in my life, yet have no shame in asking for support this time around.
I wish for us all to continue with our dreams.